Spelling. My apology.

[Lupita]

I just received an e mail of somebody complaining about my grammar and how to be a teacher. I wanted to apologize about that. I have not the same construction that you guys have because English is my second language. I am a foreign language teacher, and teach French, Russian and Spanish. Also certified in two more different areas. But due to my accent, etc, I prefer to teach foreign language.
So, my apologies to you and hope that my grammar does not irritates you too much.
My heart to you.
Lupita

[gratitude28]

Lupita!!
I used to teach Russian too! I also speak (some) French, well in Spanish, Italian and a smattering of Japanese!!! Nice to meet a fellow linguophile!
Love, Beth

[Lupita]

I deeply apologize. But sometimes I get triggered when someone treats me like my students treat me. And some people behave like my teenagers students. I come here as an oasis after a difficult day after working with teenagers and I some sorry if I was easily irritated. I guess detachment could work here too. Hops, need you.
I do not want masages. If what the person wants to say does not dare to say it here, don't say it at all. Not to me. The next mesage I get I will erase with out reading.
Thank you.
Lupita

Hops, you are the best. Please. Hope to hear from you.

[Lupita]

Spasiva, Grats. Merci. Arigato. Shocria. I am disgusted now. Why do I let  people to make me feel bad? I am here to learn. That is why I am here. I have to learn how to keep people from pushing my buttons.
Thank you Grats. Thank you.

[Lupita]

Can someone help me understand why this mesage made me feel hurt?

Can soLupita,

I've never been one who could ask some personal things without sounding mean, but I'm going to try again here.  I hope that you will hear my question without feel attacked, because that sincerely is not my heart at all.

I noticed in your typing that there are some misspelled words and you have shared that you are a teacher of many teens.  I was asking about the foreign or special needs students, because I figured that spelling would not really be an issue in a teacher with those types of students. 

You said your students are not special needs nor foreign, so I'm trying to find out why, although you seem extremely intelligent, you have some spelling struggles on the board?  It's not me meaning to be cruel by asking.  I'm just curious, because I have noticed that even my professors in college seem to really have a problem with spelling, tenses of words, etc.

I am wondering if maybe you had to learn English as a second language personally, which I understand is very difficult to do.

This is just me analyzing my environment and wondering "why" so if you could, please let me know how teachers can be able to teach but struggle with spelling a lot.

Just some background on me.  I went to a Catholic school where, if you didn't know how to spell, you stayed standing till you got the spelling correct.  I'm very very picky about spelling, grammar, etc and I tend to hyper-notice when people use incorrect tenses and improper diction.  So, forgive me if I'm being too picky.  It's just another one of the little quirks about me, I guess.

Thanks for hearing me and hopefully not feeling offended or attacked.

~Laura
 
 
meone help me understand why this mesage made me feel hurt?

[Leah]

Dear Lupita,

Gentle heart, you have no need to apologise, I am always blessed to read your words, as they come straight from your heart.

Please ignore the messages you are receiving, as I did.  Sad that it seems to be your turn now.

God Bless you and guard your heart.

Leah xxx


Edit:  This post was being written and posted at the same time as the above ....... hells bells, I don't know whether to delete, run or hide.

[gratitude28]

Lupita,
If it makes you feel better...
Like I said on my other thread... tried to sell my painitngs this week and it was a no-go. I am fine with it. I was thinking... if you had a classical music CD, it wouldn't exactly fly off the shelf... whatever. At any rate, I have justified it to myself
However... I signed on through the Red Cross with their bazaar and they are all acting like I am a leper now and are all sad for me... I have joked and said, no worries and that I enjoyed it. Then the director said it was "also a learning point for him." What does that mean? That because of me they won't have unestablished (i.e. non-commercial) artists again???? This is the only part that has made me feel bad and it has been a thorn since their office is right here.
So, Lupe... let's toughen our hides and be proud of our accomplishments. When the person who critisizes your grammar learns Russian, then let him/her make a comment about your English...
Love, Beth

[mudpuppy]

So, my apologies to you and hope that my grammar does not irritates you too much.

You have nothing to apologize for. I'll bet you speak English better than anyone here speaks Russian (except for maybe Beth ).

Your grammar irritates me about one thousandth of one percent as much as some of the shenanigans that go on here.

mud

[Hopalong]

Hi Lupita,
You are fluent in several languages and you even speak Teenager!

You have my support and respect, and please don't apologize for anything here, ever.

I think the message was an unaware compulsion, meant to criticize but not devastate...

Sometimes it's really a good idea to just not do PMs. I think there's a box you can check to just skip 'em. I don't know why disturbing things happen "behind the scenes"...but I know it's something I do very very little.

There's something about the openness of doing things...well, in the open...that I think is good for people dealing with such painful legacies.

You don't have time or energy to focus on flaws. You're too busy speaking in that slow confident voice and doing an excellent job with your kids.

You know, I was just thinking how your "10 bad" kids probably have a yearning deep inside for someone to teach them what respect is, what consequences are. You keep up what you're doing, you're doing a great job.

love,
Hops

[gratitude28]

Hi Again Lupita,
(And Laura)
I think Laura maybe hit a soft spot in you which could be one reason this hurt. Also, Laura, I would say a PM maybe wasn't the way to ask... maybe it felt hurtful to have someone ask Lupita privately, as if it were a secret or something. I am not sure, but that could contribute to Lupia's hurt. Maybe if someone PM'd you about something, as if they felt it was something shameful it might feel bad to you the same way, Laura. Just an idea... I am throwing them out as Lupita was asking for reasons why it hurt.
Lupita, where are you from, if you don't mine me asking?
My husband is Mexican, from Michuocan. (Morelia).
Love, Beth

[Gaining Strength]

Can someone help me understand why this mesage made me feel hurt?

Of course it hurt.  It touched a point of sensitivity. 

Laura says, " I went to a Catholic school where, if you didn't know how to spell, you stayed standing till you got the spelling correct.  I'm very very picky about spelling."  I am very picky about table manners because I paid a steep price to develop them just as Laura paid a steep price to develop her spelling.  I have had a hard time at times understanding why others seems to skate by in some areas that I was required to demonstrate some proficiency.  I became resentful.  I am trying to figure out where I am resentful and how to let go of that pain.  Perhaps Laura can let go of her pain for having been treated poorly, of being belittled around spelling. 

You hurt because you are experiencing some of the pain that was once perpetrated on Laura about spelling and grammar.  How terrible it is when children are hurt - they carry it long into adulthood.  I suggest that you simply forgive her for hurting your feelings.  Then you won't have to carry it with you. - Gaining Strength

[reallyME]

I'd like to speak for myself now here.

The reason I wrote to Lupita in private was so that she would NOT feel publically condemned.  Doesn't that make sense that, if someone wants to ask someone something personal, they might not want it publically done?  I thought is was better manners to ask her in private, but apparently she chose to take it public instead, which is fine.

Now, the reason I was asking about her spelling, was because I thought possibly she might be hispanic and learning or learned English as a second language.  I see that I was right.  I was just interested in knowing this, because I have seen that at my college, some of the people who are excellent teachers, have grammar and spelling that is unclear.  I just wondered how people get to become professors without almost perfect English, because of the fact that I went to a Catholic school where they drilled proper grammar into your heads.

It was simply a question.  I'm not treating Lupita anything like a narcissistic student does.  That's not my heart at all.  I also speak Spanish a bit as a second language myself.  I'm not a vicious person who just talks to people to wound and hurt them.

Lo siento mucho, Lupita, for anything I said that triggered you or upset you in any way.  I was just curious and I really tried to be tactful in how I asked.

SIncerely,
Laura

[Lupita]

My screen name is lupita. If I wanted to hide my origin I would have chosen a name like angel, or tropical wind, or tropican depression, srping smell, or bird of the south, who knows what. But I have chosen a screen name that is very well known as latin. To indicate I was latin. So, I am not ashamed of that. I am  ashamed that it was treated as a shame. Like a secret. I felt discriminated. Several member are right in what they are telling me. Again, I need to focus on the positive. There are many good , wonderful people in here. And I am going to focus on the good people.

Laura, I don't want to offend you but you seem too picky, too intolerant, too inflexible, lack of empathy, lack of the capability to put your self in the shoes of others. Does that sound familiar?  I will pray for you. I forgive you. I hate the problem. Not the person.

Thank you for so many nice people  in this place where I hope you keep giving support and positive reinforcement to people in pain. Somteimes the pain is so strong that makes you blind.

Thank you for your wonderful words, helpful words.

God bless you all!!!!!  I will always praise the Lord for the wonderful opportunity to be in this wonderful country. A country that many people has been born into by the grace of God and many people do not appreciate the privilege to be born in the best country of the world. Others have to fight hard to be able to enjoy a piece of the american dream. Some poeple even pay the ultimate price to come to the land of freedom. Thank you Lord for the opportunity, for the privilege to fulfill my dreams to be and work in the United States of America. The land of freedom. The best place where anybody wants to be. Thank you USA. Thank you Lord. With Liberty and Justice for All.

[reallyME]

and I will say again that I chose to talk to you privately out of RESPECT for you.  I love hispanic people and I did NOT insult you nor persecute you for your origin in any way.  If I could be accused of anything here, it's noticing and commenting on the idea that teachers are able to teach even though some of them struggle with spelling.

In this country, I always thought that, in order to be a teacher, there was a level of education that was required.  When I got to college and my Sociology teacher said to us, "oh I'm a TERRIBLE speller, so just overlook it" I was utterly shocked!  Does anyone understand what I'm saying or where I'm coming from?

Lupita, most people, when someone asks them something, will simply give the person an answer, not take the message to a public forum and then cry "persecution."  I'm not persecuting anyone here.  I simply asked a question.

If you think I am against you and that I'm all those things you just labeled me as, then it only shows that you really do not know me or my heart.

I forgive you for judging me, especially on some of the very things I have openly admitted that I've really been working on.

I would NOT criticize any person of another culture, based on their origin.  I'm not like that.  I love speaking spanish with hispanic people and I often get the chance to at my restaurant I own.  So, on the contrary, nothing I said to you was meant to defame you for being hispanic at all.

~L

[Gaining Strength]

ReallyMe - you are very clear that you did not mean to be insulting but as you can see from Lupita, whether you meant to insult her or not - you did. 

You say it yourself: I've never been one who could ask some personal things without sounding mean, but I'm going to try again here. So you tried but unfortunately you still hurt her feellings. 

Since you didn't mean to hurt her feelings how about just apologizing and let it go.