thanks to whoever recommended this, wow, it's an interesting book and the phrase which leapt off the page for me was 'women think because of the women's movement and the choices the struggle has been won for them. Instead they have a new struggle, the choice between economic freedom and success at the price of their mothering and traditional female roles' ( I am paraphrasing )
I remember having been home for a few years how stunned I was to realise it was like starting over again in the workplace, that my ex had used the time to propel his career forward and I was now deskilled both practically and in confidence.
And just recently when I wanted to expand my business because I need more money now, how I got pressured into staying home with son instead. Not that I mind, it's good to be with him I know he's growing up and I don't regret any of my time out of the workplace to raise him. But ex was so much happier writing me a cheque, and again I know I am lucky, he could be pressuring me and short-changing me as happens all the time. But the irony is he wanted son to be with him full-time, yet his job takes priority in his mind over all else, even though he could much more easily work from home or take time out!
I am caught between wanting to be successful and independent and wanting to be a good mother. Some of the women in the book talk about their husbands becoming impotent when they don't feel like the all-powerful provider!
And the number of women who undercharge was brought home to me just this week when soemone asked me how much a job would be and I said $35 when I meant $45. I felt 'on the spot' and a bit awkward. Like I was messing with a taboo or something.
It's on many levels the ambivalence and anxiety money provokes in women.
The bottom line is for the woman there still isn't a viable choice which works, maybe that is equality because I don't see much that works for men as a balanced way of life either!
