How many personalities does it take to make a narcissist

[rosencrantz]

No offence to anyone, but I've been going soft and I'm making up for this dangerous mood by poking a bit of gentle fun at it all...

Today I realised that I've worked out (some of?) the different 'personalities' my mother presents to the world - I had them all split off from each other before but they've taken on new meaning as a whole.

So may I present to you...my Nmother (bless her heart, but please leave me alone)
 
1. Hyacinth Bouquet (she's a character from a UK comedy TV series called Keeping up Appearances) (Look, world, my daughter is wonderful)
 
2. The wicked witch of the West.('I'd treat a dog better than the way you treat me' - look, daughter, you are actually the pits)

3. The Queen  (the whole point of the funeral was so my mother could be queen for the day and wave at the plebs from her black limo)

4. Archetypal Jewish mother (oy vey, if you loved me... after all I've done for you...) (with apologies to genuine Jewish mothers everywhere who are wonderful matriarchs and never use emotional blackmail)

5.  Manipulative six year old (if you don't give me what I want, I'll thcream and thrcream and thrcream)

6.  Prima Donna (having a screaming hissy fit because she didn't get what she thought she was due)
 
I've run out of inspiration - but there's more...eg the vindictive, vengeful one with the long memory, etc - can anyone else  come up with a few - or recognise any of these??!!!  I know it's cruel, but it's oh, so refeshing, too.  

[Prosperity]

A.) "God-complex" ridden physicians or other professionals who can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to do what they do

B.) stalker husband playing opposite julia roberts in the movie  "sleeping with the enemy" (OK, he had a little more than just "N" going on)

C.) Local Pseudo-Rock Stars. (And real ones too)  Nothing stands in the way of them and their "music" (ie drinking with buddies and goofing off into the wee hours) not even wives and families.  Yeesh.

D.)  Miss Hannigan.  (ran orphanage in "Annie")  (well I can't stand the brat but if anyone adopts her out of my life i'll hunt her down and kill her.  Oh, and I get the $50 grand, too, because I deserve to live on "easy st." by default.)


Oh, yes, i do appreciate the humor when it comes up.  It's nice to be able to laugh about this with others who understand my perspective.  It definitely releases some of the stress.  The thread about the Nmoms was cracking me up.  (doot doot doodle oo...LOL) It made me think about how sometimes in a conversation with my MIL, even if I have psyched myself up beforehand, it's almost like she is using her "voodoo" to extract her desired response from me,  and it is as if I am hearing a recording of my own voice as her manipulated responses spew forth uncontrollably from my lips and i can't seem to stop it from happening, I keep saying exactly what she wants to hear and the inside of me is screaming to myself,  "shut up, you idiot, and find a reason to end this conversation NOW!!!"  But my brain goes all phlegmatic and the neurotransmitters can't seem to push signals along fast enough to keep up with her.  

See, my husband is less calculated than his mother about these manipulations.  He is the type to blow up if a conversation isn't going his way, then he starts to argue circles around you until you have forgotten completely the point you were trying to make.  



E.)  Oh, yes, and that awful octopus woman from Disney's "Little Mermaid."

F.)  Both of the stepmothers in Snow White and Cinderella, and the stepsisters too.  Boy was that family dynamic a doozy.

Love,
Prosperity

[rosencrantz]

it's almost like she is using her "voodoo" to extract her desired response from me

Yup, that's what they do - that's exactly what they do.  The only escape I've found is to keep up a monologue about something so she can't interrupt! Something off the news, some local gossip, a book you read...anything to deflect their attention.

But, oh dear, I think they turn us into Miss Hannigans!!!

I've just uncovered another of my mother's personalities (how many does she have???)  These two work in tandem.

1.  'Little ol' me'  ('I just don't understand any of this money stuff, it's sooo confusing, please help me' said in a 'little' voice)  Aaaah.

2.  Slasher brain (Mistake alert! Mistake alert!) Aaargh!

Yes, it was all just another fishing line to reel me in with.  Get a comma wrong in your sentence when you try to explain it all and she's in there with the sharpest mind in the universe.  And now I feel incompetent and guilty again.  Foolish me!!!  Yeah, well, I've been 'had' again.

The trouble is, the less the manipulation works, the more worked up she becomes. Oh dear - does that mean that I'm pressing her buttons, now.  Is there no way out of this??!

[mary]

My mother in law says, "I can make anyone do anything"! (Manipulative Witch)

[rosencrantz]

Wow!  She probably can, too.
R

[CC]

Let's not forget

"THE EXPERT", a conoissuer of absolutely everything.    You may have more experience than her in some area but because she's older and wiser she still knows more about it than you do...

[rosencrantz]

LOL

Of course!

A sort of variation on Descartes : "I am therefore I know"!!!

[Tinkergirl]

Don't forget:


The Forensic Pathologist:  "Where is the evidence that I was abusive?"

The "for your own good" Mother:  "I had to be overly firm (ie abusive) with you because you were a difficult child".

The Perfectionist:  "I never make a mistake".

The Martyr:  "Nobody else will take care of my parents...so I must be the one to do it, even though I loathe it and I'll tell you all about it, even in front of their caskets."

The Troop Leader:  "I have plenty of friends who tell me that I was a good mother to you and that I did the best I could".

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

[mary]

There is also Mr. Innocent:  All I said was 6 little words.  No one can be hurt by just 6 words!   (Oh yea thats why the kids are in therapy!)

[rosencrantz]

Thanks Mary - that was lovely.  Tears of laughter - I needed that!!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks,  sadly that is a quote and sadly the kids are in therapy!  I just hope the guys get sorted out so that they can get on with their lives.  Sad sad! It is a real pain living with someone who sucks the life out of you to be the center of everything.

[mary]

Sorry, I forgot to log in that was me, Mary in the above post!

[rosencrantz]

I've just come up with two more...

The vindictive, vengeful one with the long memory is The Godfather

And then there's Joan of Arc, as portrayed in a play by (George Bernard Shaw???).  Strike pose - "Light your fires" (I shall never give up my lies).

[Prosperity]

Did anyone mention Sybil?  Cause my husband has enough faces to fill up a lecture hall.  (unexpectefly sweet, kind, all for a purpose)


And, how about the Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland?)  You can't fill my ridiculous unexpected request?  Off with your head!!

Prosperity

[mary]

The Whisperer:  He whispers insults under his breath but makes sure it is loud enough for you to hear.  Its like he is not talking to you so he is not insulting you but he makes sure you get the point.