I was reading through a few other people's threads and I had this particular reaction to it. It is an imaginary sequence in which I travel back through time to visit that particular situation to confront that person's parents. This is how it goes.
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I can see through a screen the N.events unfolding in someone's life. I am getting very angry but I am also very confident, really in control, the way a seasoned lawyer is when she marches into court, knowing that she will win the case hands down. I get on my 'war gear' which includes all my experiences from the present world that I live in, the fair, conscionable adult world which is fair and good to me. This knowledge I pack away - it is the flamethrower that is going to burn away the false premises of that other world that I am going into.
OK. I am ready. I look like myself; I have on a favorite grey skit and jacket, my favorite shoes.
I go. With the sheer force of my outrage, I part the curtains of time, they open like some strange mix of steel and Jell-O. I pull them apart by sheer WILLPOWER! And Bam!!
I am there in the living room of another house in another part of the world. The N.Parent is bulling this girl, who is too mesmerized by the evil unfolding to call it by its name. So I walk in. There!
The N.Mother is surprised! Who the heck is this? I say: "I'll tell you who I am. I am a representative of the Conscience of Humanity. You! STOP using your daughter like she is your TOY!!!
She is NOT there to fulfill YOUR NEEDS! You are the parent, not her! She is not there to serve you or parent you!! You are there to parent her!!
And then, perhaps the daughter will look at me in fear, because people in N.Families are often afraid of standing up for themselves. So I will say to her, calmly but firmly, "My dear, do not worry. This does not look good to you, but the way things were going was also not good for you. Just because it is your parent doing these things, does not make them right. Do not be afraid - you are going to a place where you are going to learn the wonderful skills of saying and feeling whatever you do."
As I say this, she will find herself surrounded by a pale electric glow. She is still in the room, but she has a different perspective of that room. She sees that it is tragic, what has been happening to her. But she also sees that her grief cannot be translated into permitting Narcissism from a warped N.Parent. She is crying, but her tears are clearing up her vision. She sees clearly now.
She says: Mother, why do you not care for yourself enough to nurture and VALUE this short moment in time where you GET to BE a PARENT? Don't you see that this is not going to come again? This is not a resource you can renew on demand? When I am grown up, you will have lost the chance to be a parent forever."
The mother is silent. She is fuming, but this truth demands her acknowledgement. She still wants to abuse emotionally - she cannot get rid of that - but she sees herself more clearly now. She knows she is like a warped piece of glass, like a barren desert that wants to force her daughter to 'make believe' that she is a garden!!!
I tell the mother: "You will not conscript your child or anyone's child or even any adult in the service of your ego."
I repeat: "You will NOT CONSCRIPT your child into the service of your DISGUSTING EGO!!!!"
She is absolutely still now. Her eyes are reptilian with rage at being denied her 'exalted position' of 'martyr in the family'.
The screams at me: “How dare you tell me this! I have sacrificed SO MUCH for this girl. She doesn’t care how much I have suffered. How dare you speak to me like that! You are JUST like my daughter – ungrateful, un-..”
“STOP!!!” I interrupt her. I hold my hand in front of her and say, “By the Power of My Conscience, I Say NO MORE LIES!!”
She wants to shout back - but she cannot talk. Every time she tries to talk, her lies turn into frogs and toads, which spill out of her mouth. She is now horrified! There are so many, many little tree frogs, and exotic tropical frogs, and ordinary garden frogs spilling out of her mouth.
I tell her: "every time you speak a Narcissistic falsehood, you will eat your words in the form of frogs. Do you want that?"
She spits them out, is about to retort with another proud remark, but stops herself just in time, as a nasty little green and red leg sticks out of her mouth. She spits it out.
The N.Mother is now horrified by the reality of her ill doings. I see that she is truly dismayed. So I tell her:
"You are not going to be tormented by these frogs forever. You just simply cannot lie anymore. That's all. As long as you tell your daughter the truth, you do not ever have to worry about being plagued by frogs materialized in your mouth."
The daughter, who was previously scared, sees that this is actually a neutral intervention, by supernatural means, an intervention on the correspondence between her and her N.Mother. Because it is neutral, she does not have to feel guilty. In fact, she is SO grateful, because for the first time in many years, she and her mother actually have a REAL chance of having an honest conversation. She also sees that she has been contributing to her own suffering, not because she wants to hurt herself, but because she has been so pressured into doing it, But she now has that golden light of knowledge which accompanies her and gives her clear perspective. She has Found her Authentic, Golden Self and this Self will help her and stand up for her every time she needs it!
I then take out a special animal carrier, which automatically attract the little frogs into it. I will drop them off in the Amazon, in a rainy garden n in England and in a far away village in India. And then I will return to my own little house in a nice little garden in the USA.
I tell the mother: "Remember: you are an individual before you are a mother. That means, you MUST sort out your needs and your issues AS an individual. BUT, NOTE THIS: Your daughter is NOT your emotional slave, your emotional go-between. She is not the proxy that you use to exact your vengeance, your vision of your vindication.
Also remember that you cannot waste this girl’s daughterhood without also simultaneously destroying your motherhood. And in the end, your daughter may be orphaned but she will find her way and find her 'honorary family' in the world. But you - YOU will not be able to recover your daughter no matter how you try. So THINK about it before you try to trap your daughter into your mind games."
Then, I am ready. The frogs are locked in. Time/space is opening up for me to go. They are both standing there, speechless. The N.Mother is still emanating negative energy, but she is now PRACTISING restraint because she KNOWS what will happen to her if she says anything that is motivated by N.
The light around me is now pink and then golden, as the curtains of time part for me. I tell the daughter:
"My dear, you must now also practice the denial of negative demands made on you. Every time you think of acquiescing, the floor is going to show Jell-O on it, right in front of your feet. I know that is a nuisance, but it is just to let you know that you must think again and consider carefully what it is that you are agreeing to do.”
“As for you, the mother, if you try to physically punish your daughter, two snakes will appear and accompany you everywhere. They will hiss at you about all your pretensions. They will not stop when you sleep. They won't bite you either, but they will not leave you alone. Oh, how you will WISH for death, for oblivion, for forgetfulness – but you CANNOT have them!! You will not be allowed to forget! Oh no! You will have to listen to the lies that you created hissing at you over and over again, incessantly showing you yourself. You will be forced to face yourself every minute of your life!”
“So, if you do not want to be tormented by the external manifestation of your internal nest of vipers and frogs, then you need to CLEAN up your INTERIOR and do some renovating!”
And then, I am off. as we move through the titanium but silky fabric of time, I pray about this situation and I declare God's justice over that place. I say that the daughter is strong and that the mother gets the gift of REAL REMORSE. Real Repentance. I deposit the frogs in Bavaria, London and a little village in Burma, because I am in the mood to improvise on my journey home. They jump off across the light rain. I am statisfied.
Wow, what a day this has been, but I am glad. I love this line of work! I look at myself in the mirror. Grey is a really nice, professional color! And my pearl earrings really do work with my skin tone! I think I may do some online shopping this evening. Later, I will e-mail the daughter and check in with her to see how she is doing. I make myself a cup of tea and turn the TV on. We are just in time for a movie!
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(copyright Life is Precious)
P.S. I think I will write a collection of cathartic short stories and see how people like it.
