2 steps up, 2 steps down, 2 on the same place.

[Lupita]

Thank you guys. I feel so, so, sad. I am going to the gym at 12:00 anyway, and going dancing tonight too. Still feel so sad.

[lighter]

Lupita.... it would be so nice to cook with you, walk on the beach with you and go dancing... feel powerful and happy out and about.

Very nice to picture.

As for that conditioner..... of course you have it, lol!

And of course you haven't made the time or thought yourself important enough to use it.

Get it out and put it in your shower for when you get back from the gym.

Do you have a foot scruffer pumice stone hidden in that drawer too?

Get it out as well and I'm so relieved to hear you're planning to go dancing tonight.

Go and celebrate.... you earned it.

It is amazing, I have been posting and reading since 5:30 this morning and I feel a little better now. Thanks to this board and the people who takes time to write and talk to me, whether I like it or not. That is friendship. Hope that one day I can meet you all. I can have coffee with you. I can take you to my dance school. I can go to the beach with you. I need you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lighter]

About the rhitidectomy?

I like the idea of little nips and tucks along the way..... so you continue to look like you but....

if you want something that requires you go under..... and you're paying for a surgical suit and anesthesiaologist (sp?).....

get everything done that you want done in that one, very expensive shot.

It looked like you could go under a local and get some little nips and tucks done in a doctors office?

By all means.... less expense and maybe that would be all you'd need?

There are also cheaper alternatives.... out of the country but..... I know my doc buddy has women come from all over the world for him to do his thing.... and he's one of the most expensive docs doing what he does.  I'd be verwy verwy careful about surgery, esp on my face.... bc you have to live with that for a long long time. 

Choose a great doctor and see when he offers specials.  They do offer specials, btw.  Now is a very slow time for them, btw. 

[Lupita]

Dear CB, if what you are saying is right, then why the heck did ge continue asking me out? trying to have sex with me? he kept trying and trying, and when I finally say yes, he tells me that it is a bad idea? why did he wait three months? why did he pursue me until I said yes just to say now i dont want? why did he tell me that I had a fluffy arm? If he did not have interest in me he did not have to ask me out. He asked me out. He started the flirting, he chased me. If he did not have interest, then why?
Just tell me why? why chase me? why ask me out? I do not flirt with men I am not interested on. I do not call men I am not interested in. I do not go out with men I am not interested in. He asked me out during three consecutive months. He monopolized me in the dance floor. Id he was not itnerested, why to do that? He said I am messing up my stpes because I am watching your girly body. I did not started it. If he was not interested why to start? I am not looking for a commitment either. But I do not like partnesr who multiple date. That is the only difference. I believe he hates women. I likes to hunt and when he gets the piece he wants, like cats play with a mouth, kill it eat a little piece of the mouth and leave it ina corner. Not all eaten but mutilated, sometimes still alive. Those are emotional predators, spinners, they make your head spin. I knew who he was from the beginning and i fell because my mother is like that. I feel attracted to that kind of man. Those make me excyted, to conquer, thinking that I will overcome the result and change the ending. So, although I disagree with you, CB, I adore you, because you are a sweet wonderful person and you always have been so sensitive to my feelings always trying to help me honestly and with humility, that anything that omes from you I recieve with love and gratefulness, whether i agree or disagree with your statement. I would enjoy your company so much.

[Lupita]

He really wanted to humilliate me. He really hated me. he wanted to hurt me. Why? I do not know. he waited three months. He was begging for sex, for love, just minutes before to say he did not want it anymore. He went on a trip, i did not call him, I told him I had a group of friends for Saturday when he called. I told him I could only go out on Friday. Finally I let him come inside my apartment, we kiss, etc, and when I finally accept him, he suddenly, from the middle of nowhere, says "I do not want to ruin our friendship" "This is a bad idea" We had made out for three months, he always complaining that I sent him back home to take cold showers, etc. Why calling me so may times and asking me out so many times, why trying to get sex so many times, why as I said no he kept calling me for three months and suddenly when for the first time I show interest he dumps me. Why did he wait untill I was celebrating a once ina life opportunity? He asked me to celebrate with him. He planned it. He was mad at me for some reason.

[Lupita]

He is the one who asked me. I saw him on Tuesday at dance class. I was indifferent, I did not even partnered with him, and he waited till the end of the class when the teacher puts music for us to do free practice, he took me away from the guy I was dancing with adn  asked me if I had recieved my letter. I told him the great news and he asked me to celebrate. He ruined my celebration. Once ina life opportunity. My mother alwasy did that to me. Always. She sabotized my parties, she sabotized my concerts, she saboptized my dates and she sabotized my marriage.

[Lupita]

I have to forget about him. move on, try something different. I will go dancing tonight. He is an idiot. I am so sick of him.
How can I think of something else?

[lighter]

Did you enjoy that shower yet?

Deep condition your hair?

Sluff your face and body?

Pediciure?

Pick out the dress you're wearing tonight?

There's plenty to think about.... think about you!

[Hopalong]

Citizen Lupita,
We are so lucky to have you as our fellow American!

About your nose: well, you'll see that on Lighter's thread.

Just tell me why? why chase me? why ask me out? I do not flirt with men I am not interested on. I do not call men I am not interested in.

Because he operates on a different set of values than you do. He was about pursuit. You were about dancing and enjoying the present. It is good that he changed his mind. Look at it this way, when you tell yourself you do the same old sh*t:

You didn't sleep with him.
You didn't marry him.
You didn't crawl across the dance floor begging.
You didn't stalk him or harrass him.
You didn't lose your dignity.
You didn't stop dancing.

I think it's not the same old sh*t at all, you're just having a reaction. As CB says, female egos are fragile too.

What I liked is when you said you know this man has problems with women. And you knew it. Because my theory is that it's the healthier, getting-healthier-all-the-time part of you that held back! Maybe you didn't run away the first time you met the Sexy Bad Boy. You just danced. And kissed and stuff. Okay, another time you might not even risk that, if you know the consequences would be bad for you with this type of man.

But you didn't marry him!
You didn't sleep with him!
You didn't stop dancing!

So when the reaction is over, I hope you'll see yourself with respect. You have a great deal of pride, Lupita. That's especially sore when somebody rejects you.

But rejections and ins-and-outs and people disappointing you and you disappointing yourself are just being human, not being BAD.

You're a great person, Lupita.
With a great nose.

love
Hops

[Lupita]

Thank you Besee, thank you so much. I worked so hard on that. For ten years. God bless America.

Hops, why did he pursue me just to reject me? As long as I was saying no he was chasing me. As soon as I said yes he rejected me. If he did not like me, why to waste three months of his life? Money, time. He always paid during our dates.

And before he left he said, "call me if you want to go dancing"
In what kind of a mind enters a thought that I will call him after he hurt me so badly?

Why would he want me to call him if I have a flufy arm? If he is not itnerested? What the hell does he want?

I am not going to call him. I will not.

[Certain Hope]

BIG CONGRATS ON CITIZENSHIP! YEA LUPITA!
xxxbesee

Wow!  Yay!!    Congratulations, Lupita!  I don't know anything about this dating stuff (except don't sleep with anybody till you're married), but good thing Besee highlited this piece of news, so I could chime in!

Thanks, Besee 

With love,
Carolyn

[Lupita]

Thank you so much CH.

I still dont understand why ask me to celebrate to destroy my joy.

If I pursue something, I would be happy when I get it. I would not punish the person who says yes.

[CB123]

Lupe,

It's okay that you don't agree with me.  I'm not sure I've got much to offer anyway--I think I am identifying with you too much to be impartial!  But it's okay--what I lack in true wisdom, I will make up for in true empathy!

If I pursue something, I would be happy when I get it. I would not punish the person who says yes.

Thank God for this guy's idiocy, Lupita.  You arent being punished (maybe by him--but not in the cosmic sense).  You are being SAVED!

Much love,
CB

[Lupita]

CB, but in some way you are much healthier than me. You are still friends with that guy. You are still going out with him. So, you handled it perfectly. I did not. I left my guard off. I fell. You, instead, are keeping your composture, and your dignity. You are great!!!!
So, you have much more wisdom than me.
Thank you for being my friend.

[Certain Hope]

Thank you so much CH.

I still dont understand why ask me to celebrate to destroy my joy.

If I pursue something, I would be happy when I get it. I would not punish the person who says yes.

Dear Lupita,

You know what?
I am thinking that when we have lived on this earth for 1/2 a century, it is not too much to ask for things like this to make sense!

When I hear what happened with this man, it makes no sense to me, and so I would not waste a minute of the next 50 years wondering why.

And I agree with CB... this was a blessing to you in disguise, maybe, but a blessing nonetheless.

You have so very much to celebrate! I hope that you find so many things/people/events which DO make sense that this one will slip into distant memory in no time at all!

Love,
Carolyn