2 steps up, 2 steps down, 2 on the same place.

[lighter]

It's not so much that you need to feel nothing, Lup.

It's that you need to have your esteem up (high on the proper shelf), so that it's not swept around by bad boy winds of change, on a string.

When you understand enough about this situation.... you'll be stronger, tougher, confident and this entire experience will turn out to be a gift you look back on fondly... bc it lead you to a better place.

As for that warm happy celebration of yours..... I'm so glad you enjoyed and felt happy there.

Not surprising bad boy rang you up to 'congratulate' you.  What that really means is.... he's using that as an excuse to contact you, without SAYING he wants to see you again.

His withdrawing from you, when you finally returned his feelings, was supposed to 'teach you a lesson' and have you scurrying to do as you're told..... immediately.

His sharing his bad day.... bc a client was rude...... was supposed to get you feeling pity for him..... he wants you to try to make him feel better. 

Blech blech blech and :::blowing a you know what raspberry, lol::

Bleck

Ahem... instead.... and to his shock, I'm sure heh.... you feel more empathy for yourself with regard to your job and what you have to put up with, lol!

NOT WHAT HE EXPECTED but it shows that you're growing and are indeed on the path to nurturing and healing yourself.

I'm just tingles all over Lupita.

You're doing great and that bad boy is just gonna have to eat someone else's lunch. 

It won't be yours; )

[Ami]

Dear Lupita,
   I agree that  he is playing a game with you. If you watch the 'steps", you will see the "dance". Try to listen to your "inner voice" about him. What is it telling you(under the attraction to him). Does your gut tell you that he is toying with you. Do you feel like it is a cat and mouse game ? I find that my gut is very wise  about telling me the truth about any situation,but I have to listen and discern it.        Ami

[lighter]

Yes yes yes, CB.


Learning to identify feelings and know our selves... know how to identify others... is more important than learning how NOT to feel.

[Lupita]

OK, dear friends. Today Saturday, I walked five miles with a group of fitness enthusiasts, after which I went to my Zumba class at the gym. In none of the events there were men to flirt with. Just young people or only women. Still I had a good time. Hope that is an improvement. I do not need sexy dancing bad boy to feel wonderful about my self. Or that is what I am trying to convence my self. I do not need a man. I have been alone for seventeen years. Suddenly came alive with sexy dancing bad boy. Despite him being an A*s ***** I still miss the flirting. That is bad. I do not need that to feel well. I need to feel well on my own, just with my self. Grow up, Lupita, grow up!!!!. I wish. Still, I am going to dance tonight, hope that my classmates are there so I have somebody to dance with. I do not like to dance with strangers.
Thank you friends for all your encourage. I had worked so hard on my slef, and suddenly this man comes and destroy me so easily, it is not even funny. I aloow him to hurt me. I am mad at my self. I hope I do not have to see him tonight. Hope that nobody invited him for our meet together tonight.
Your ideas are always welcome. Thank you for your help.

[Hopalong]

I still miss the flirting. That is bad. I do not need that to feel well.

But, Lupita! You are a red-hot Mama!

I think he was the wrong person to flirt with, that's all. I don't think it's bad to miss flirting. Your sexuality has been under wraps for a long time and you've lost weight, gotten even more gorgeous, you're feeling life and blazing salsa music running through your veins, your body is healthy and vigorous from lots of exercise and fresh air, you have a beautiful nose, and flirting is OKAY! (You just saved yourself a bunch of suffering by your smart choice not to FUSE and SLEEP and THROW YOURSELF AWAY with this particular man.) Good, good.

I have had 2 surprising flirtations this week (one the crush who came to the shop, but I haven't heard a peep...that's okay, I'm amazed to realize after just brief disappointment that if he's not ready then it's a positive not to hear from him), and the other a handsome Irish (in Boston) CEO long-distance customer with whom I had a spark on the phone. I was just in a joyous mood and didn't take his big-shot pomp seriously and chatted away and he wound up calling me later just to talk-- about his struggle with workaholism, how it felt to grow up on a big estate where his father was the manager, his frustration over the social changes in Ireland, etc. It was fascintating and great fun.

I think you're doing the same with dance. Enjoying the rhythms and connections. And I have such faith there will be new ones that will make you look back and say to yourself, good grief, and to think I wasted a couple months feeling badly over that ridiculously inappropriate other person! (If you even bother to think about him at all.)

Cha cha
Hops

[lighter]

Have fun tonight and stop beating yourself up.

You're learning and growing and all the pain is part of that.

Just see what it has to teach you and make better choices... with a smile and anticipation of better things to come.

I promise you..... you're doing great, lol!

[Lupita]

Thank you CB, Lighter, Hop, Ami, Thank you.

One, Two, Cha Cha Cha. One, Two, Cha, Cha, Cha.

[changing]

Lupita-

Now you have time to meet more darling men, who are also nice men!!! These are more rare, but infinitely more satisfying!!!!

Hoppy-You are cautiously letting your light shine. Pretty soon, you feet will be dancing about like Lupita's - those interested fellows are testing the waters, and when they know that you are ready for them to vie for your hand...Well soon afterward Izzy and I will have a lot to think about and do (nothing gaudy or cutesy, a natural setting would be nice- how do we charter that jumbo jet???).

Love,

Changing 

[Hopalong]

Dumbo jet! I love Dumbo!
I think a Dumbo jet is perfect!

For some reason one of the few memories I have of being a child of 5 when we went to California was a ride at Disney World in one of those gentle-for-the-little-kids rides that was a ... umm ... Dumbo flying car, I guess.

I remember that when I first saw it, and realized that I was actually going to get to sit on Dumbo, I felt weak in the knees with joy. I mean, I loved Dumbo with my whole little heart.

But I'm an adult now. So I will just dream of a wedding where everybody comes in a Dumbo jet.

 

(I think I'm ready.)

hugs
Hops

[changing]

Hi Hoppy and Lupita-

Hoppy,it makes sense- you often employ those large silent animal metaphors. I was thinking of an outdoor wedding, but perhaps we could incorporate a circus tent (maybe to house the Dumbo jets!). Well, you have to be off now Hoppy and get ready to party this evening!!

Lupita,I hope you have loads of fun and meet a nice man who makes you tingle soon!!

Love You Guys,

Changing

[lighter]

I'm looking forward to hearing stories about Hops, CB and Lupita all tingling over nice men.

Oh dear..... was that weird, lol?