Dear Kelly,
I am going to say s/thing,honestly. Compost what does not fit. I think that you are doing what most mother's do when they have kids. You are thinking that you CAN have order and "peace" in the house. Now, that my kids are grown,i have order in the house. If there is no peace,it is b/c my "head" is driving me crazy-lol.
I look back and see that it was impossible to have those 'high' standards for life with kids. Maybe, everyone has to see this for themselves.I put so much pressure on myself to be the "perfect" mother--another N lie. My kids grew up well b/c they had the basic elements in life. I certainly did not have to drive myself so crazy trying to be perfect. However,I was always "out running" my memories of my mother. I over compensated b/c I never wanted them to suffer like I did.
I strived too much.I put myself through too much stress. S##t happens when you have kids. It happens all the time. You are tired and stressed most of the time(IME)
Like everything else,if I could go back,I would not strive for an A plus,but B or a B minus.
Kelly,I can see you in my mind's eye. You are warm and loving.You are full of fun. You are sweet and a delight as a mother(most of the time,like all of us). Your kids know that you love them. That is much more than you or I got. That is enough for them to grow up well.
That is just my perspective.I,often, wish that you lived next door.It would be fun to have you over for a cup of coffee--huh?
Anyway,I hope that I did not overstep my bounds.Since ,I am in the next stage,I have a different perspective and just wanted to share it. Sorry about the police. They have come here several times when people dialed 911 in error. My M even dilaed 911 to ask which restaurants were good around here---bleh. So, they had to come over for that, too.
I guess that what I am saying is that all the "stress" with the kids will pass.The messy house,soon, will be neat.You are a beautiful person.,Kelly. That is what matters. Love Ami