well-intentioned parents when we're raising our children

[reallyME]

As I was making my bed, considering some of the posts on the board, i was remembering some of the convos my mother and i have had in the past about how i raise my own girls...

mom: "aw why would you deprive your daughters of the same fun you had believing in santa claus?"
me: "I'm not depriving them of fun.  I am not going to have them grow up and ask me "what else did you lie to us about mom? Is JESUS a fable too?"
mom:  "oh that's ridiculus.  It never hurt ANY of you kids!"
me; "that's not the point.  I am choosing to tell my children the truth about ALL things, even santa, the tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc.
mom: "I just don't see what harm it would do..."

Another Convo:

mom:  "ohhhhhhhhhh...you kids grew up watching Bewitched and stuff like that.  It's just harmless make-believe."
me:  "according to my beliefs, witchcraft is against the Bible"
mom: "well it's just make pretend, people dressed up.  You used to watch that stuff and it never hurt you any."
me:  "that is debateable.  I became a witch and occultist, mom"
mom:  "I don't see what harm it could do."
me:  "Well, besides being against the Bible, it also creates the idea that children can "think" and whatever they want, will come to them.  That is distorted, mom"
mom:  "ohhhhhh please!"


See, I spent even my married life, with my beliefs being invalidated, being told I was ridiculous and strange and going "overboard"

Hence, why I will openly tell you all that I AM a radical follower of my faith.  I make no apology in that.  What I have learned to do, is to allow other people to be who they are, whether they choose Jesus' way or not.  Free country and I don't want to get seen as a control-freak or dictator. 

My mother is Catholic and we do not see eye to eye on many things, but she still wants me to see that what was good for the goose (me as child), is good for my ganders (my children)

~Laura

[lighter]

I think everyone does the best they can do.  You're mother, you.... me included.

You can follow the bible like a zealot and that's what you do, Reallyme.



But please remember..... the bible was written by men, translated over and over and you probably might not want to follow every word as though it was written by God or Jesus or the Holy Ghost.

I plucked the first article I found, as food for thought.

http://ffrf.org/timely/abcsbible.php

I'm not looking for a debate over the bible.  If you're comfortable with your position, that's good with me. 

[changing]

I think that this forum must be free of bias and bigotry- no condemnation of differences in others... we are all here because we are in crisis, and that is the basis upon which we interact- no judgement from on high- simply friends and fellow fighters against voicelessness that we have suffered. We must be free to express ourselves here without one religion or one addled viewpoint or another being allowed to criticize the thoughts and experience of others who don't happen to adhere to one unfortunate person or another's particular view of the world or their idea of themselves as better, holy or knowing. That is bigotry.
We are here because we are in crisis, we can support each other and accept our differences, and in that way, help each other with what we bring up up for discussion- no one should feel reticent, that they may be criticized for their beliefs or lack thereof, or what they choose to do. This is our safe place.

[Certain Hope]

Hi, Laura,

I agree with Changing's perspective as she's expressed it.

I also believe that the Bible is the authoritative word of God and not an ancient relic manufactured by men.

http://www.carm.org/bible/inspiration.htm

One thought which I'd like to offer to you, for your consideration, is that the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
That being said, I hear you about trying to explain Biblical perspectives in parenting to someone who thinks you're too zealous and dismisses your perspective. What you describe is having your view discounted and yourself invalidated, and that hurts!

Love to you,
Carolyn

[lighter]

I don't have any bias against the bible or a particular group.

I'm not for stoning folkes to death either, though.


I don't take every word in the bible literally.... that's my point.

For example.

I don't think Jesus would have beaten children with a rod.  

I just don't.

I interpret the rod as discipline itself.

I'm sorry you felt I was attacking a group or belief system.  

I'm Episcopal and we're not well known for excluding and judging others, I'm afraid.

No amount of debate would change the way I interpret the bible, however.

Perhaps Laura feels the same.  

[Certain Hope]

Lighter,

You didn't address your last post here to anyone in particular, but if it was to me -  just for the record,

you don't know how I felt about what you've said here.

You offered a link re: the Bible.

I offered another link re: the Bible.

Equal time... period.

Carolyn

[reallyME]

I'm kewl with it, whatever you want to believe.  I know what has always been true for me and it's working just fine for the most part.

~Laura

[Leah]

Dear Laura,

One of my siblings, when told that there was no santa claus, blurted out to my mother "you have lied about santa, so there is no Jesus either, that's another lie"  and thus, refused to believe in Jesus.

So, with my son, I played the santa ritual down and presented santa as a mere "fairy tale" character, like "jack in the beanstalk" and co.  Which worked fine, he enjoyed santa stuff at Christmas.  He believed in Jesus, and, went on to accept and follow Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour.

But, my parents will never validate my walk of faith, they cannot, simply because they do not have the same personal relationship, as myself, so therefore, it is unreasonable -- a false hope -- to expect them to validate my faith.

Love, Leah

[Certain Hope]

But, my parents will never validate my walk of faith, they cannot, simply because they do not have the same personal relationship, as myself, so therefore, it is unreasonable -- a false hope -- to expect them to validate my faith.

((((((((((Leah))))))))) they don't know what they're missing. Thank you for sharing this.

Love,
Carolyn

[Leah]

((((((( Carolyn ))))))))

I know, that's the true heartbreaking bit, they simply don't know what they are missing.

Fullness of life ... and so much more besides.

Love, Leah