deception

[Lupita]

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!

- Sir Walter Scott

. . . nearly all forms of deception are now accepted by the medical profession as a form of illness. Even where deception is recognised, as for instance in the confabulations of the Munchausen syndrome, this is attributed to previous mental trauma, or to some form of cultural disadvantage. The deceiver, always referred to as a patient, is said to be "disturbed"; he is regarded as a victim, not as a rogue (Naish 1979).

I was thinking of people who constantly decieve others for no reason. And found this in the internet. Most of the times I do not trust my perceptions, I know that what I see is not what others see. It is like a kind os daltonism. Due to so many years of being decieved.

It costs me a lot of effort to believe people.

[Leah]

I was thinking of people who constantly decieve others for no reason. And found this in the internet. Most of the times I do not trust my perceptions, I know that what I see is not what others see. It is like a kind os daltonism. Due to so many years of being decieved. 
It costs me a lot of effort to believe people.

So, Lupita,

What life tools do you use at the moment, in believing someone / people ?

Leah

[Lupita]

I hear you Lea. And individuals are relatively weak in detecting deception. And some decievers are almost impossible to catch. Or Manipulation, using information that is basically true, but presented in a context to craete a false implication. If I know many of those. O BOY!!

[Leah]

Lupita,

Are you referring to believing people in everyday life interactions?  Broken Promises and Lies?

Leah



Broken Promises : Lies : Is is possible to restore Trust?

Suppose you lend a friend a DVD to watch on the agreement that he will mail it back to Netflix. If you find out your friend
forgot to return the movie to the rental company, would you trust him with another DVD?

Now imagine the same scenario, but this time your friend tells you he sent back the movie, when in fact he didn't. You discover
he lied when you see the DVD on top of his TV. Even if your friend apologizes and promises to follow through next time,
would you lend him a movie again?

The intertwining issues of trust, deception, apologies and promises are explored in a new research paper by three Wharton
professors who came up with a unique laboratory experiment to see what happens when trust breaks down.

The paper, "Promises and Lies: Restoring Violated Trust,"  will be published in an upcoming issue of Organizational Behavior
and Human Decision Processes.

DVD rentals aren't the focus of the  the paper, but co-author Maurice E. Schweitzer, professor of operations and information management, offers the video example to illustrate how trust and trust violations influence people's behavior whether in the workplace or everyday life.

"Trust is the social glue that holds things together. It allows us to engage in social and commercial ventures," Schweitzer says. "You can't contract everything. We develop relationships that are based on trusting that things will work out."

To study the dynamics of trust, trust violations and restoration of trust, he and colleagues John C. Hershey, professor of operations and information management, and Eric T. Bradlow, professor of marketing, set up a money game that allowed them to measure changes in trust over time, rather than simply at a single point in time. The researchers said they began the experiment with a widely held assumption -- that trust is fragile, easily broken and hard to repair. "The thought was that trust is like glass," Schweitzer says. "But that isn't true."

Instead, the money game experiment revealed that "trust harmed by untrustworthy behavior can be effectively restored when individuals observe a consistent series of trustworthy actions," the researchers conclude. Also, making a promise to change behavior can help speed up the trust recovery process.

But the experiment found that when a person's trust is violated, and the violation includes deception  -- for instance, your friend didn't merely forget to return the DVD, but also lied about it -- it is difficult to restore. "It's okay to screw me over, but don't deceive me as well," says Bradlow. "If you screw me over and lie about it, it's going to take even longer to recover from it."

[Lupita]

Dear Lea, I was reading an article about a woman who said her child had leukemia, she got a lot of donations and it was not true. Then I compared it to what N parents do, and started this thread. So, I dont know what I was thinking.
But your post is very interesting. Wherever this takes us is fine, it will be informative.

[Lupita]

For me, it is almost impossible to restaure trust once is violated. I forgive in the way that I do not do anything against the person who damaged me, but I do not interact or socialize with the person that damaged me. I do not want to be with the person who damaged me.