Honesty As a way to Heal

[Ami]

A few weeks ago, an impression hit me about HOW to heal. I have to be scrupulously honest with myself, my emotions, feelings, thoughts. I can not push them aside b/c I feel "badly" about them or that they are "bad".
. Then, I have to look at the outside world and evaluate  that, without distortions and illusions. Then,I will be healthy(lol). This is "You shall know the truth and the truth will MAKE you free"
  I DO think that the concept is that easy,but the "doing" is harder b/c of old messages that I am "bad' when I am selfish.I  wish there was a big eraser that could erase all the messages from the N parent. Don't we all?
  I remember ,as a kid, I could look at s/thing and see it and feel it, without judgement or feeling like I had to distort it. I want my old "eyes' back, again.
 Can anyone relate ?                             Ami
 

[Ami]

I guess a big part of the answer is to get some distance between the N's distortions and reality----bleh--- a long road, sometimes.

[Iphi]

Oh yes I can definitely relate.  I feel I just really really have to recommend the books by Eckhart Tolle, which are about this - how to break free of distortions, basically, as an ongoing practice.  Maybe some people get it in a flash, but it is an ongoing kind of thing for me, anyway. 

[Ami]

Dear Iphi,
 Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate them.
 I realize, today, that I am not connected ,from the head to the heart. Inside, is sludge, mud, that blockes  the  connection until I am  a hurting ball ,with emotions stuck,  unexpressed and painful. I see that,now.
 Lise was talking about her neice(young child)who has so many strong emotions and expresses them. I think of Mimi, my Yorkie,who "expresses" her emotions.
*I* ,on the other hand, get stuck, afraid, feeling "bad", self doubting, lacking in  trust etc when I get feelings.
  I guess that I have to excavate the closed  passageway from my head to my heart.
  I have to do it b/c it is hurting my body(stomach) and limiting my life.
  Can anyone relate to this?                          Ami

[Ami]

I think that your degree of "power" as a person is directly related to how honest you can be about yourself and life. The more "dishonest " you are, the more 'powerless" you are.
  If you cannot work with the "real " materials in life, your inner world and the "real" outer world ,you will be stymied and impotent.If no one else resonates with this, I am just talking to myself(lol)           Ami

[Overcomer]

let's talk about being honest.................in AA or any rehab program they talk about "the secret."  I see this in my H.  He hides his drinking.  I told him, "if you are going to drink, buy some good beer and enjoy it out in the open."  The fact that he pounds Budweiser and hides it is what makes it a problem (well, not Bud per se but the hiding.............)

Same thing goes with my mom.  She just isn't authentic.  She has NO friends.  Only a lot of acquantainces.  Why?  She cannot be honest with them.  She cannot be "real."  Same with my aunt.  That is why we only do things with family.  People look at our family and are envious.  Well, the reason they are is because they "think" we are loving, wonderful people.  But the truth is we have more than our share of problems and most of them are a bunch of phoneys........mom being Queen Phoney....

That is why I am so outspoken.  I blurt the way I feel.  It is like I am screaming "I have an opinion mom and you are not going to stop me from speaking anymore!!!"

[Ami]

You seem very real  Kelly. That is why you are one of my favorite board members.