True Anger Vs. Drama

[dandylife]

         
Drama Vs. Anger


Drama                      

-scares the hearer               

-is meant to silence      
         
-masks the dashed expectation with
a false sense of control   
         
-blames the other for what one feels      
   
-is a strategy that masks a demand
that the other change      
         
-is violent, aggressive, derisive, punitive      



True Anger


-informs the hearer/creates attention

-is meant to communicate

-contains sadness or disappointment

-takes responsibility for this feeling

-Asks for change

-is nonviolent


from How to Be an Adult, by David Richo

Dandylife
                                       

[Certain Hope]

This is great, Dandy... thank you. For someone who is afraid of any sort of confrontation, it can be difficult to tell the difference... but what I'm coming to understand is that telling someone you don't appreciate their behaviour toward you and asking them to please not do that again is actually a step toward intimacy... whether they take offense at it or not.

Today I got notice from Amazon that my order of this book has shipped... and I'm so excited! 

Carolyn

[dandylife]

Carolyn,
wonderful. Pretty soon the author will have to start paying me commissions on all the books I "sell" for him! (just kidding)

I really hope you do enjoy it.

Dandylife

[Certain Hope]

Dandylife,

I just realized that I'd never come back to post about the book.... and it is absolutely wonderful.

Initially, I read through it in one sitting and then set it aside. Now  I'm pulling it back out now for review and a sort of progress check.
Might have to do some more posts about it, too.

Anyhow, thank you again... it's one of those that settles in on you deeply because it just plain makes so much sense!

Carolyn