I am watching Dog Whisperer. I have learned so much from Cesar. This morning when I woke my son up he went into his tantrum mode. He has been doing this alot since he contracted strep for the first time at the beginning of February. (He's had it 3 times beginning Feb. 5.) When he hit me I got angry. Later this morning I got a call from school saying that my son had not taken his medicine this morning. I gave it to him to take but apparently he did not. Usually I watch him to be sure he has swallowed, but today it was all I could do to get him dressed, in the car and to school on time. So I had to go to school and give him medicine.
All along I kept thinking, "we will function better if I can learned to disengage emotionally and not react. And I also have been realizing that I must let my son become responsible for himself. I told him in front of the office person who called me, that I would not come to school next time he did not take his medicine, that it was up to him to take some responsibility for himself.
This is beginning to help me. I am beginning to understand that I can take control of my emotions and that life changes when i do. It is so clear when I watch Cesar using calm assertive reactions. I have made progress with our dog and now must try to apply it in other parts of my life. If I could be calm assertive then I can get past my self-belittling, self-doubt, etc.
I am beginning to learn that I don't need someone else to come along and help me but that I can go and get the help I need. I don't need my N family to change. I can change. Now that is power. We'll see.
