Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

[CK]

I just stumbled on this site and I want to say thank you all for this message board. I have read most of your posts and I am crying my life out.  All your posts are describing me and I know I did not write them.  This is spooky on the one hand because I always thought I was the only one like me and then this is great just to know I am Not alone and I can have a voice after all .  Maybe I can Heal.  I cannot write anymore right now, I have to go cry this for a while.  This is a relief cry and that is good, isn't it?

[Neko]

CK I felt the same way when I first learned about narcissism, and read this forum (this very one - just in its earlier form). So many years of feeling like I was alone, "making things up", "exaggerating"... and then I saw my own life in words written by others. The floodgates opened and I've never been the same - which is a very good thing!


Yes, you can heal It will take a long time and a lot of soul searching; know that it may get worse before it gets better. Yeah, I know how that sounds. "What, worse?? It can't possibly get worse!" but then memories come flooding back, and emotions you never allowed yourself to feel because it was too dangerous with narcissists around. That's when the real healing begins, though!

Crying's good! Let yourself feel, there's no more need to fear your emotions once you reclaim them

[Alan]

Cry and keep crying.  Cry until it hurts. Cry until you're dry.  It's the body releasing the repressed emotion and that's what our pain is all about.  

At the end of my first marriage and during 2 other girlfriend breakups, I cried and cried.  It does get better.

At this time I'm being divorced by my N.  I'm lucky. Years of reading, listening, conversing, and understanding has helped me understand the problem quickly.  I have felt bad, devistated, alone.  But I knew the possibility existed that my marriage would end, I knew this early on in the relationship.  I told her very early "This marriage will end because you can't or won't talk to me".  And it became the fulcrum.

So,  I cried an entire 10 seconds.  The only other times were when I was with my daughter, embarrassed for putting her thru this.  She been in therapy for about 9 years (recent times are once a month check ins, dealing with her mother issues and the start of high school.  That's why she will not get intangled with messed up people. I'm proud of her).

I'm checking in with my therapist this week, to confirm all the info I have found.  But I do expect some tears to shed.