I am new here and I am SO glad I found this place. I am 3 months out of a marriage with a man who I believe to be an N. We've been married for 7 years, together for 15 years. In that time he has had a "secret" life, lied to me about things small and large, made me believe I was insane, enlisted the help of one of my best friends to try to get me on medication, and when I found out about all the lies, and confronted him, he left me holding the bag (we just bought a house a year ago). I have since discovered that he is thousands of dollars in debt due to credit cards, all accumulated with in a year! The situation is like an onion...layer upon layer, and I find out new things every day. He is spouting lies about me left and right, and because he plays such a convincing "wounded dove", people believe him. My friend that has known me for 17 years has been "filtering" info to him about me, against my wishes, and behind my back. This has come to light within the past week.
He only "wants what's best for me" and he "wants me to be happy", and never bothers to say how he watched me weep for hours, brokenhearted, and never made a comment or tried to comfort me. He told me that "if was brokenhearted and devastated, then I was doing it to myself. [He's] done nothing to me". This was after I'd found out he maintaining some sort of "relationship" (define it however you will, I still don't understand it), with his ex high school girlfriend. He had secreted 8 phone numbers for her, and I found them. He has said many things that will take a long time to get over (including about how "she" was his best-friend, and nobody understands him like "she" does). I do not know what is around the corner for me, but I have a certain amount of fear. He is unpredictable, and he is on a downward spiral. Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks for your time, and I am so relieved to have found you all.
