My kid still gets bullied and I still have no idea what to do about it. The coach that seems to be allowing had his last practice with the team this week. He's a bully himself, but very subtly. I'm glad he's going, and I'm hopeful that whomever replaces him is better. They almost have to be.
Sitting in Sunday School a few weeks ago and the discussion went to spending time with family. The consensus was that attending our childrens games/events wasn't family time, and especially that the kids wanted more time actually WITH their parents. It was an interesting discussion, but considering that we homeschool, I spend lots and lots of time with my kids. Then someone in the class had to go and make One Of Those Remarks. She commented that it may not be family time, but being there for a child's games/events is important. And, then she really did it: she remarked how badly she felt for kids whose parents weren't there and how bad it was for them to look into the stands and not see anyone there for them. It's been one of my bugaboos for years. I never thought much of it until I spent time with my in-laws hearing their stories of their various adventures (and all the time they spent) going to their kids' events. I dunno why it didn't hit me before then. When I was a kid, I knew my friends' parents were there but mine weren't and I didn't like it. Perhaps because I didn't see it as part of the entire picture.
It brought up another uncomfortable situation, too. We're new to the Sunday School class, so it didn't seem appropriate to share really personal information (yet), but it makes me wonder how does one participate in that sort of discussion. It seems so self-serving to pipe up and say, "Yes, it certainly is important. I would have loved to have seen my parents attend those things when I was a kid." OK, not only self-serving, but down-right inappropriate. I mean, the person didn't ask for a commentary on my family's oddities. At the same time, I'm sure the woman who made the remark had no idea the effect it would have on me -- that weeks later, I'd still be mulling it over, unable to escape the discomfort.
These uncomfortable events seem to be collecting. There have been several other situations when a comment about the effects on children of what a person considered a bad parenting practice was something that was quite common in my foo. I'm not sure how many times I can sit and hide the fact that I'm holding my breath to keep from falling apart. I really don't want to cause a scene. I'd like to do my best to have things work at this church and going nutcase on them probably isn't the best way to contribute to it.
It doesn't help that the kid in Arizona killed all those people and now again all the discourse on what should happen to mentally ill people, like there's one category of people with mental problems and they're all dangerous and should be locked-up, denied rights, etc. The whole stigma thing about mental illness rears its ugly head, and that just happens to be the time I screw up taking my medications and end up anxious, generally fearful and wanting to hide. Talk about bad timing.
