Hi Everyone,
I've posted a brief introduction on the other board as well, but thought I would share a bit about my background on this one as well. I had severed all contact with my mum before I'd read about, or even heard of, NPD. Once I did start learning about it I really felt that the cap fitted her, so to speak! I also wonder if my step-dad has the same sorts of problems, he is just as odd as she is.
Two and a half years ago my mum made false allegations against me regarding my little boy, who she claimed I was abusing. My son is disabled and at this point was only four years old. I have raised him on my own and, despite my mum's best efforts to de-rail me and her constant criticisms, I've done a pretty good job so far and my boy is happy (which is a lot more than I can say for myself at his age). Because my mum used to work for social services she knew exactly what to say and do, and she did a remarkable hatchet job on me. I fought long and hard for five months and finally proved she was lying. It was incredibly traumatic and I can't tell you how terrified I was that they were going to take my boy away from me. What made it worse was that she did this to stop me going to the police about my step-father, who sexually abused me. I stupidly told her I was going to go to the police about it; at that point I still wanted to do 'right' by her and let her know if advance what was going to be happening. She knew that if she went to social services it would not only keep me too busy to start a criminal case against her hubby, but also that it would make my allegations look like tit for tat (ie, she reported me for child abuse so I made up the allegations against him as revenge).
I simply stopped contacting her at that point and have had no contact with her since, other than sending a letter threatening an injunction. She has made no effort to contact me, but was sending my son letters and cards every week detailing all of my faults and the terrible things I've done to her over the years (one of these included giving birth on the wrong day and the midwife telling her off when she mocked me for screaming during the labour). I have no contact with the rest of my family because she controls everyone and everything; it's simply too tiring to deal with it all so I just wrote to everyone and asked them not to contact me any more, which they have respected. I have an older sister who is brilliant and who was advised by her own GP not to see our parents any more because her doctor felt they were at the root of my sister's mental health problems. Interestingly, since going NC, both my sister and I have been free of the depression that we suffered from for most of our adult lives.
That's the nuts and bolts of my situation at the moment. I've found it useful to understand NPD as for some reason my mum's behaviour seems to bother me less if I can understand why she does this. it doesn't make me want to contact her, but it does make me feel like it's her with the problem, not me. So that's a bit about me for now, thanks for reading and I look forward to getting to know people.
Regards,
Twoapenny
