Author Topic: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?  (Read 15424 times)

nolongeraslave

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What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« on: September 23, 2009, 07:00:42 PM »
Using the term "weak" to describe someone has always bothered me. It's supposed to be a put-down, right?  That's how I feel. I get angry when I hear someone use it, but now I'm not even sure people mean by it.

How do you know if you're a strong or a "weak person?"



Here's an example.   My mom would tell me I'm too sensitive for getting upset at her remarks, but she would call me a wimp for ignoring a bully. She expects me to beat up people who talk just like her, but I should kiss her ass when she behaves the same way.  Talk about mixed messages.

I have felt that other people throw out the word "strong or weak", and it doesn't make much sense to me.  People get called a "weak whiner" for wanting to express their emotions, but then then they get called weak for not telling anybody about being abused. 


Does anybody get what I mean? I don't know if it makese sense.  I feel like calling someone "weak" is verbal abuse, if you ask me.









mudpuppy

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2009, 07:43:41 PM »
People who call others weak are usually fragile little weasels attempting to make themselves feel stronger by tearing someone else down.
Double that for anyone who says it to someone they are supposed to love and protect.

mud

Sealynx

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2009, 08:47:16 PM »
To me a person is only weak when they fail to live up to the values they profess to have. It is all about being true to yourself..not someone else's idea of who you are or should be.

I think my father was  a very weak man because he would yell and scream along with some of the more offensive radio talk show people as if doing so meant he was a "tough guy"..Yet, when it came to standing up for us in the simplest of circumstances he couldn't. Like your mother he would knuckle under and ridicule us rather defend us against mean critical people.

Redhead Erin

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2009, 12:11:53 AM »
I have only ever heard somebody call somebody else weak when I was in the Army.  They used to say it to soldiers who did not live up to some standard or other.  Like anything, there were some people whom the shoe fit, because they were unwilling or unable to make a commitment to fix their issues; and some people whom it didn't. I got called weak a bunch of times.  Sometimes I deserved it, for being disorganized, sloppy, chronically late, or just plain contrary.  Sometimes I didn't.  Sometimes it was just plain abusive name-calling, disguised as military toughness and discipline.

 When I got called "weak" or any other undesirable thing, I had to consider why the comment had been made and whether it was accurate, and what I wanted to do about it.  I really had to do it, because my job depended on it.  That taught me some valuable stuff about how to evaluate criticism objectively and when to take it to heart. 

Nolongeraslave, I don't share your view that calling someone "weak" (or any other critical adjective) is necessarily verbal abuse.  Sometimes it is just calling a spade a spade.

Hopalong

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2009, 09:18:11 AM »
I think weak isn't supposed to be a summary of a person.
It's not black and white.

People have strong areas and weak areas.
Weak could be a neutral description of a physical issue (e.g., that arm was weak after a stroke). That wouldn't hurt anybody's feelings.

But it's become more popular to apply it to a person as a whole, as a character slam.

I suppose it could be accurate. But it can be interpreted a lot of ways.

Is a person with overdeveloped, rigid boundaries and a lot of aggression too weak to love?
Is a person who can't walk but has tremendous patience and positivity weak?

When I was little we used to sing, Jesus loves me...little ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong. In my simple reasoning then, I liked it. Seemed clear to me that as a child, I was weak. And I sure could have used a protector.

It's an evolving word and the intent of the speaker plus the context are what matters.

I am way, way too weak to be in the military. Yet it's taken strength in some situations to speak up for nonviolence and peace when the conforming view was: "America, love it or leave it."

love
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sKePTiKal

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2009, 10:10:15 AM »
I have to echo mud...

usually, a person who feels superior will say someone else is "weak"... usually in the area of self-discipline, self-commitment to goals, follow through, etc. Just because someone makes this kind of observation, though - doesn't mean it's accurate. You know what they say about opinions... and a parent isn't always more "right" about these kinds of observations, than other people - maybe less so, depending on the parent.

The double standard you point out in the usage of the word, yep - it does exist for a lot of words. That's why context is always important. The dictionary doesn't always point this type of usage out... but it's been my friend for sorting out "meaning" to a lot of things that bothered me, and I mean more than words. Like the mixed message situation that you pointed out. Behind the words and even the dictionary meaning, there is a big contradiction in terms emotionally between the two examples from your mom, right?
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ShakeSenora

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2009, 03:27:21 AM »
In the business world, I know that a "a weak person" is used to describe people who lack integrity - or who don't protect their staff from opportunistic climbers. So, in my experience, that's why narcissistic people latch onto that phrase, so they totally it turn around & "co-opt" that same phrase to slam others.

Since people with high integrity are already sticking their necks out to make things more "fair" or protect their staff, they are often low-hanging-fruit for N's who are looking for "change agents" to throw under the bus. You have to  plan ahead & be savvy...
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Ami

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2009, 07:06:39 AM »
I think when s/one is too afraid to protect themselves , they are weak. The saying,"If I am not for for myself, who am I? If I am only for myself what am I? describes a balanced person, IMO.                                            Ami
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nolongeraslave

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2009, 01:47:30 PM »
Does anyone struggles with how they perceive words? My NM does that, and I have the same habit.  One little word can trigger something that has no association to what the topic of the conversation is.

 Since we are talking about the word 'weak," I'm thinking about how this girl said that people with eating disorders are "psychologically weak". This comment was made 2 years ago, and it still annoys me,   That situation alone then got me thinking about why people call others weak.

Redhead-I had to read your post a few times to get it. :)  Little words trigger my head and I go into "defense mode," but I shut that part of myself down to understand what you're saying.  You're right that the word "weak" may not always mean something bad, when you used your own experiences.


All what I can speak of is my own experiences, where my NM and ex used this word against me.  Then, there were a few "online posters" that told me I was weak (when I would go on yahoo answers and needed to let something out).   Nobody in my life right now says that.  For some reason, I'm afraid to be called weak. Maybe I made this topic to make sure I don't get called that word again, b/c it reminds me of NM and ex-boyfriend.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2009, 01:51:15 PM by nolongeraslave »

mudpuppy

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2009, 02:44:03 PM »
Quote
All what I can speak of is my own experiences, where my NM and ex used this word against me.

Which is the context I thought your original post was referring to, nolonger.
In the context of Ns they always mean it to wound and disable. They, believing themselves to be hopelessly defective, can only ever feel strength by making someone else weaker or making them believe they are.

mud

Lollie

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2009, 02:57:13 PM »
I'm thinking about how this girl said that people with eating disorders are "psychologically weak". This comment was made 2 years ago, and it still annoys me

Maybe it annoys you because it was a completely ignorant comment devoid of empathy, understanding, and humanity?
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nolongeraslave

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2009, 03:30:00 PM »
I'm thinking about how this girl said that people with eating disorders are "psychologically weak". This comment was made 2 years ago, and it still annoys me

Maybe it annoys you because it was a completely ignorant comment devoid of empathy, understanding, and humanity?

Ha, exactly. I remember other people agreeing with her, so I thought I was crazy for disagreeing with her!

I swear..external validation feels like a miracle sometimes. ;)

Izzy_*now*

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Re: What does the phrase" a weak person" mean?
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2009, 08:18:55 AM »
After some thought, on a 'weak' person' the best I can do is say I believe someone to be weak if he/she has no backbone -- no opinions, beliefs,  that he/she can stick to, regardless of the way the wind blows in the crowd!

-even if he/she is the only one to believe whatever it is!
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