Hello everyone, I'm new here.
I discovered Dec. 2008 there was something fatally wrong with the way my Mother treated me when my baby daughter was 2mos old. I always knew there was "something wrong", but never had this strong of a realization before.
Basically, my NM expects me to keep her intact. While my sweet baby had colic crying fits, my NM would literally not let me off the phone. She came to visit, what a disaster... critisizing the mom's group I brought her to, my church, friends, my step-dad, husband, parenting style, how I breastfeed.... And said I shouldn't be one of those people who breastfeeds forever. I felt so insecure by the time she left. I thought for the first time.... OMG! I would never dream of treating my daughter this way. I saw the treatment I received the last 37 years for what it was, without making excuses for her.... I did have a period of NC in my 20's for about 4 years, but I just needed that to figure out who I was. I did not realize the depth to this situation though till my daughter was born.
I have a GC brother who slips into narcissistic spells, he understands how destructive our NM is .... But he needs her now as his life is a mess (bad divorce and broke). I need to avoid him now as he expected me to invite NM to baby daughter's Cristianing. I just couldn't invite her, she would make the whole thing about her and squash any confidence I gained since the December visit.
I'm begining to think I'm one of those DONM's who may never be able to have contact with NM. I have visceral flashbacks on a daily basis of how my mother treated me. I experience new ones every day as I watch my daughter develop. I do have lots of friends and interests though, I just hide this deep sadness very well.
My goal of being on this forum is to share and hear other peoples experiences from time to time. I'm a busy working Mom and wife (and person:)who needs to hear she is not the only DONM out there.
Thanks for listening, it helps me to articlate my thoughts through writing to a group. I hope my story contributed to the forum in a good way.
