I believe when one feels the need to seek professional help for any situation one should be careful to do a lot of homework. For instance, it would be unadvisable to take out the yellow pages and go shopping for a therapist in my view just as one would use the same yellow pages to find a furrier or an electrician.
It goes without saying that psychological issues require much thought and much investment, whether it be dealing with trust issues and/or issues of vulnerability.
When one seeks help, it is often after becoming vulnerable enough to recognize that something is/was wrong, and "finding a therapist", because every other person is "in therapy" these days, is , granted, no easy task and therefore it should not be trivialized.
Tough issues will be dealt with and a certified psychologist or psychiatrist is a must in my view.
Once in the relationship, the therapeutic relationship, the patient or client must face his/her trust issues. Yes the therapist must give the client voice, especially if voicelessness is a central issue. But the client/patient must also be willing to respect boundaries and guidelines established in an interview where the goals of the therapy would be established.
We as patients are there to seek tools and strategies to deal with our present predicaments. Unless there are blatant transgressions to decency and codes of practice and no matter how challenging facing certain issues can be,the client must always carry at least fifty percent of the effort.
The client/patient must endeavour to trust in his therapist's education level, after all, most certified therapists are practicing at the Master's level or have obtained Phds in their field. Most have had to undergo their own psychoanalysis before they obtain a license to practice. Many preconceived ideas and prejudices regarding therapists must also be shed by the patient population in my opinion, because many of these are fear based, projections and transferences. These very obstacles can be deciphered by a good therapist who will know to guide, gently but truthfully, and steer a patient back to the pertinent issues.
Most problems in therapy occur when there is resistance by the patient. Often, plateaus are resistance. A good therapist may use a variety of well tested and proven stategies to help the patient over the hurdle, so that progress can be made once the underlying issue is faced.
I want to caution the patient population to not blindly trust their therapists but also not to run away and sabotage themselves at the first sign of discomfort with a therapist. They are human too and are not surrogate parents neither are they the family we never had, or the husband or lover who did us wrong.
It must be very difficult to be a therapist today. The behaviour "du jour" has become the seeking of a therapist because everybody has one. Also, although everyone is a victim of something or other, and society seems unable to differentiate between being a victim and the victim mentality; there has been a decline in responsibility and accountability across the board. It is not uncommon to hear of lawsuits against healthcare professionals who might have simply exposed or touched upon the real nature of an individual's problem only to be dragged to court by the same individual because he/she was not ready to hear it, to own it and take responsibility for it.
The trivialization of therapy has resulted, in my opinion, in a greater number of pseudo therapists, those who have declared themselves so, and who provide mediocre care to a needy population without being accountable to a professional board. I think this is where one would most likely encouter a "narcissistic therapist".
Also, it is up to the various professional organizations to police themselves and to ensure ethical practice within well established rules and guidelines and to see to it that these are valued and enforced by all.
I do not believe a therapist should be "nice" to you all the time. It is not necessary to be "nice", but it is necessary to be caring. Consequently, people who chose the caring professions, should endeavour to go all the way. They should not be blackmailed by their clientele to agree with everything they say "or else."
I want to close by emphasizing the responsibilty of both parties involved. Allowances can be made within the professional relationship and there should be very rigid boundaries erected from the begining of sessions to assure a safe and truly therapeutic environment.
On the old board, before this one was put up, i'll always remember a similar discussion where a woman told us how she had been stalling her progress until the day her therapist told her" listen, do you want to heal or not, 'cos if you don't stay home!" I remember reading this and thinking, although it wasn't "nice" to say something like that it was the truth, and it seemed to have jolted the lady back to reality.
It's a tinge narcissistic to think one knows more about psychiatry than one's psychiatrist. Granted, some are very strange outwardly, but it's the inside that matters no?
Kind regards,
Nic
