So, I've finished all three books and the addenda at the end... processing for a bit.
I'm disappointed that Dr. Flynn - Christian's T - only has a minor supporting role. Only one T scene in the whole series. But I did learn that there is a therapy out there, I hadn't heard of: Solution Focused Brief Therapy. SFBT for short. I made a mental sticky note, to check this out after I finished the book. Here's a quick definition. I kinda like the part about "using little successes" to help us "solve" old problems.
What is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)?As the name suggests, it is about being brief and focusing on solutions, rather than on problems. We learned a long time ago that when there is a problem, many professionals spend a great deal of time thinking, talking, and analyzing the problems, while the suffering goes on. It occurred to a team of mental health professionals at the Brief Family Therapy Center that so much time and energy, as well as many resources, are spent on talking about problems, rather than thinking about what might help us to get to solutions that would bring on realistic, reasonable relief as quickly as possible.
We discovered that problems do not happen all the time. Even the most chronic problems have periods or times when the difficulties do not occur or are less intense. By studying these times when problems are less severe or even absent, we discovered that people do many positive things that they are not fully aware of. By bringing these small successes into their awareness and repeating the successful things they do when the problem is less severe, people improve their lives and become more confident about themselves.
And, of course, there is nothing like experiencing small successes to help a person become more hopeful about themselves and their life. When they are more hopeful, they become more interested in creating a better life for themselves and their families. They become more hopeful about their future and want to achieve more.
Because these solutions appear occasionally and are already within the person, repeating these successful behaviors is easier than learning a whole new set of solutions that may have worked for someone else. Thus, the brief part was born. Since it takes less effort, people can readily become more eager to repeat the successful behaviors and make further changes.
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy has taken almost 30 years to develop into what it is today. It is simple to learn, but difficult to practice because our old learning gets in the way. The model continues to evolve and change. It is increasingly taken out of the therapy or counseling room and applied in a wide variety of settings where people want to get along or work together.Kinda neat that this mirrors what I've been reading in neuroscience, too -- about rewiring our own brains, enabling us to "edit" our habits and emotional reactions. I also like the premise that while we can spend years picking through the debris of the past and never really find an answer to the existential "Why Me?" question - what really matters and is helpful to us is finding Point A (where we are now), choosing Point B (where we want to be), and then assessing what resources we have in our very selves to help us make Point B our new reality. Along the way, there is room for, a place for all the organic parts of our lives and the "who we are"... humor, play, other people, reflection, seriousness, even OCD obsession and drive...
And I'm also a fan of practicing therapy outside the counseling room. It echoes the old Sufi saying: Be in the world, not of it. Real "success" in those kinds of transformations within - is based on actual ongoing experiences, changes in our behavior, "out there" in the big wide world. I guess I figure being "enlightened" as a hermit on top of some isolated mountain or hidden away in some ashram is all well & good... but if a person can face their own selves, figure out how to stop dysfunctional habits (like self-sabotage) and through some emotional alchemy turn them into functional habits, and take some of that "enlightenment" back outside of oneself...
well, the world is running a deficit of wisdom, happiness, love and compassion. Always does, I think. If some of us - even one of us - can add just one iota to that side of the good-evil balance sheet... in the big, objective reality shared by everyone and everything on the planet, it HELPS. And then the answer to the big question we've all wrestled with - the "why"... well, pish-posh... it just doesn't matter because an answer to that question doesn't point the way to evolving and growing into who we want to be.
On Edit: OK, I just scrolled down the google page and SFBT ALSO stands for "Scottish Federation of Baton Twirlers" - LOL!! This is actually, ironically appropriate as a juxtaposition to the therapy description, for me...
