Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
I love you but I don't like you
Meh:
mornin P
BonesMS:
I have memories of the N-Queen making this HUGE show of how I was "her baby", etc., how much she loved me, ad nauseum and then watching her in a screaming rage in front of a psychiatrist demanding I be thrown out of her house because I was "mentally ill" and "refused to obey" her! The words of the psychiatrist, in response to her tantrum, still stick with me: "Your daughter is finally starting to think and respond like a normal 14-year-old! Get off her back!" Needless to say, the N-Queen was PISSED OFF because the psychiatrist would not obey her either!
Bones
Meh:
--- Quote from: BonesMS on June 28, 2012, 04:23:39 PM ---I have memories of the N-Queen making this HUGE show of how I was "her baby", etc., how much she loved me, ad nauseum and then watching her in a screaming rage in front of a psychiatrist demanding I be thrown out of her house because I was "mentally ill" and "refused to obey" her! The words of the psychiatrist, in response to her tantrum, still stick with me: "Your daughter is finally starting to think and respond like a normal 14-year-old! Get off her back!" Needless to say, the N-Queen was PISSED OFF because the psychiatrist would not obey her either!
Bones
--- End quote ---
That's extreme emotional abuse. Well, having a witness was a good thing at least.
The "making a show part" sounds like one of the typical narcissistic traits.
mudpuppy:
Narcissists don't love anyone.
Love isn't a feeling, although I question if they're even capable of truly affectionate feelings.
Love means sacrificing for the other person and when necessary putting them before you and making a commitment that come hell or high water you will continue to sacrifice and put them before yourself.
Narcissists are the precise opposite of all those things so it's irrelevant what they say. They don't like or love themselves and consequently can't like or love anyone else.
mud
SilverLining:
I suspect what they think of as love may be just a feeling of attachment to sources of N supply. There is a feeling of emptiness there for them when the sources of supply are not available, and this is misinterpreted as real positive regard for another. I can't recall ever hearing the word love in my FOO until after I was over 20 years old and out of the house. Then all of a sudden my mother was using the L word all the time. It was a way of trying to keep the association together, for her emotional support.
Since it is such a shallow self absorbed feeling, it doesn't take much for it flip over into hatred. All the other has to do is slightly disappoint or offend the N, and the supposed love instantly disappears.
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