Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Why do we feel so guilty over NC?
JustKathy:
--- Quote ---Now to find a way to get the other stuff off of Google.....................
--- End quote ---
I don't think you can ever remove the personal information that those "detective" sites post. Some of them have my history dating back almost 30 years, to every house I've ever owned and every city I've ever lived in. I'm thinking that the only thing a person can do is confuse those sites by putting erroneous information out there. At least that way, a search will produce conflicting information, but what's out there is out there, unfortunately. :(
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: JustKathy on July 16, 2012, 04:08:56 PM ---
--- Quote ---Now to find a way to get the other stuff off of Google.....................
--- End quote ---
I don't think you can ever remove the personal information that those "detective" sites post. Some of them have my history dating back almost 30 years, to every house I've ever owned and every city I've ever lived in. I'm thinking that the only thing a person can do is confuse those sites by putting erroneous information out there. At least that way, a search will produce conflicting information, but what's out there is out there, unfortunately. :(
--- End quote ---
It appears so. :(
I still have my thinking cap on.................
Bones
JustKathy:
It's the nature of the Internet. I could live in a bubble, use aliases, and hide from the world, but that would only make me miserable and give her a victory by forcing me to alter my life. You CAN mess up a Google search though. For example, creating a fake Twitter or Facebook page with your real name, but posting photos of someone else. My problem is that I was too consistent at the start, always using the same names and monikers on all sites. At one point my moniker on this board was the same name I use on public boards, and I noticed some of the posts showing up in search, so I changed it to "JustKathy." And for anyone reading, DO be aware that posts in this group show up in Google search, so NEVER use your real name.
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: JustKathy on July 17, 2012, 10:49:00 AM ---It's the nature of the Internet. I could live in a bubble, use aliases, and hide from the world, but that would only make me miserable and give her a victory by forcing me to alter my life. You CAN mess up a Google search though. For example, creating a fake Twitter or Facebook page with your real name, but posting photos of someone else. My problem is that I was too consistent at the start, always using the same names and monikers on all sites. At one point my moniker on this board was the same name I use on public boards, and I noticed some of the posts showing up in search, so I changed it to "JustKathy." And for anyone reading, DO be aware that posts in this group show up in Google search, so NEVER use your real name.
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Kathy!
I recall that, at one time, I could search Google for my own address and then remove it so that no one else could Google it. I'll have to double-check that to see if I'm remembering that correctly or mis-remembering it.
Bones
sKePTiKal:
Well, my FOO is pretty computer illiterate... but I absolutely appreciate the warning, nevertheless!! (There are others out there, that I should fear more than I do...)
I use my real name here - at least part of it - because I know I can't "hide" myself and my real feelings and my differing view of my past family life -- forever. At some point, I feel I have to "come clean"... and if my FOO-members can't handle the truth -- OH WELL. I'm the one that has to live with myself... and I absolutely no longer can stand feeling guilty, when it's someone else who's being difficult, manipulative, playing games or trying to push their denial of reality (and their own behavior/decisions) into a lack of trust, or accountability or blame/fault... making it MY responsibility for their issues/problems/refusal to cooperate -- or heal themselves.
It still comes up; just dealt with this again last week, with my brother. He tried to turn a finalized joint decision into an argument and point of contention and wasn't quite admitting that he HAD agreed... and we HAD discussed it ad infinitum (about 10 months, in fact)... and only now had cold feet and wanted to blame me for "pulling a fast one" -- again -- sigh. I didn't let him get away with it... but neither did I let it escalate. And then I felt guilty for two days... because I wasn't able to "make it all better" - because of how he is. It's not my fault he can't remember, doesn't take notes, refuses and balks at having to do anything in writing... and I'm no longer volunteering to take the blame. If that bothers him, you'd never know it! LOL....
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