Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Propaganda and me freaking out - a little.
Twoapenny:
Hi Kelly,
I'm sorry to hear about your illness. It took me a long time to find myself as I came out from under my mum's shadow. I always went with the wrong men (usually addicts of one kind or another), people took advantage of me, I found it hard to say no, etc etc. It took me a long time to balance, for a while I got really selfish, said no to everything, refused to help anybody, yelled at anyone who said or did anything I didn't like. It took me time to get to a place where I can balance what I want with what other people want, say yes sometimes, say no sometimes, say maybe.
There are so many good people out there. And many, many kind, sweet, honest, hard working men. I think, though, that we attract and are attracted to certain types that aren't necessarily good for us. It took me a long time to get myself out of that cycle (and I swapped different kinds of addicts around, left a heroin addict to go out with a gambling addict, left him to go out with a dope smoker, left that one for a drinker - you get the picture). But I do believe it's possible to change and attract good people. I am attracting good men now, unfortunately I am still not attracted to them but I am working on it and enjoying friendships with good people.
I think be kind to yourself. You are going through so much. Tell your kids that they are welcome to visit but you can't babysit. Tell your hubbie that you are too ill for sex but a cuddle is welcome (assuming that's the case!) and you will tell him when that changes. Carry on standing up to your mum! Look after yourself well. Be patient with yourself - I think all sorts of things these days but I've learnt not to act on things straight away now, I keep the thought in my mind and give it some time and eventually I can figure out whether it's one to keep or get rid of. Light and love your way ((((((((((((((((((((((((Kelly))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Tup xx
teartracks:
Hi Kelly,
Taking off on Hops idea...
I love this place, but haven't been to one of their retreats. It's close to Chattanooga.
It is run by Adventist. I'm not for or against Adventist, I believe in what they do in the medical health field. I don't know if they evangelize or not, but I think if you weren't up for that, they would be accommodating. Last time I checked, it was more $ than I could cough up, but compared to strictly commercial retreats, it's very inexpensive.
I believe they have a hospital on site as well.
For whatever it's worth.
http://www.wildwoodhealthretreat.org/
Love,
tt
Overcomer:
Hey, I'm going to Europe on September 4. London, Paris and Rome. THAT's my retreat.
I've been seeing a vegan chef who is teaching me about good food choices, etc. Today she asked me what was going on. She said I looked more beautiful than I ever have (she clarified she was straight after she said it!!) She commented that I was like a flower who was blooming. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. She said she'd like to crack it open and let me out but we all know what happens to butterflies if they don't fight to get out - they die. So I fight. I grow. I have questions I cannot answer. I don't know which way is up. I am heading for me and it doesn't make some people very comfortable!! So what!! It feels good to be ME, not the person my nmom wanted me to be.
I am a little abrupt. I know I need to mellow myself. Not always NO. Not always YES. Sometimes. Maybe. If I feel like it.
I just wish I had more energy. I could use that!! Well, I am almost done with this round of chemo. Then I get my two weeks off in Europe!!
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Overcomer on August 29, 2012, 10:10:46 PM ---Hey, I'm going to Europe on September 4. London, Paris and Rome. THAT's my retreat.
I've been seeing a vegan chef who is teaching me about good food choices, etc. Today she asked me what was going on. She said I looked more beautiful than I ever have (she clarified she was straight after she said it!!) She commented that I was like a flower who was blooming. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. She said she'd like to crack it open and let me out but we all know what happens to butterflies if they don't fight to get out - they die. So I fight. I grow. I have questions I cannot answer. I don't know which way is up. I am heading for me and it doesn't make some people very comfortable!! So what!! It feels good to be ME, not the person my nmom wanted me to be.
I am a little abrupt. I know I need to mellow myself. Not always NO. Not always YES. Sometimes. Maybe. If I feel like it.
I just wish I had more energy. I could use that!! Well, I am almost done with this round of chemo. Then I get my two weeks off in Europe!!
--- End quote ---
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Overcomer))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hopalong:
Wow.
That was the most EXTRAORDINARY post I have ever seen from you, Kelly!
Fab
u
lous
You ENJOY that trip with your beautiful butterfly self!
xxxooo
Hops
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