Send light please

[lighter]

I didn't mean to leave your e mail hanging out there without response, Hops.

I'm scrambling for trial, and over the top busy right now.

Thanks for taking the time to share your veiws on communcation.

It helps.

Lighter

[debkor]

Sending you light, Light!! 

Thinking of you..

Deb

[lighter]

((((Debkor))))

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

More light, more light, more light    (((((((((Lighter))))))))))))

[Lupita]

I did not know you were talking about this in here. Can you please explain? When did this became board info?

[lighter]

Hi Lupe:

I reached out for support from the board in the custody matter, bc I felt it was appropriate to do so at this time.

Things were going   s l o w l y   in the courtroom, so the Plaintiff's haven't yet finished putting up their case yet.  The trial will continue next month.

When we go back, I think things will be begin moving at a lightening pace.

::crossing fingers all will be done very soon:: 

We're gaining momentum, as far as I can tell, and the opposition is starting to feel the sting of pointed questions they can't squirm out of with their shell game of erroneous reponses.

Their long held beliefs are crumbling under scrutiny, to say the least, and our Judge seems very interested in figuring out exactly what's going on here. 

Bless her.  She's obviously very competent, and certainly has a very good poker face, though she's on two occasions popped open her eyes during responses from Plaintiff's first witness.  The Judge also let out "WHAT?!?!" and I believe she's going to want to understand exactly why her eyes are popping and she's gasping at those unexpected, improbable responses she can't believe her ears just heard.

To tell the truth, I can barely watch this trial without peeking out between my fingers. 

It's a terrible thing to watch people get caught in lies and deceit.  It's a terrible thing to feel such ferocious hatred and animosity directed at me personally by people who aren't trying very hard to control it.

At this point it's safe to say we're no longer fearful of losing custody, but it's not yet been determined if the Plaintiff's can be heard on the visitation issue they tacked on.

So, lets be clear.  I'm being accused of doing exactly what the Plaintiff's are doing/have done, so we know lots of issues we worried about getting in will be allowed in bc Plaintiffs raised them themselves.

Chaos and confusion were ruling when this trial started, but it appears focus and clarity will be forthcoming finally.

 ::knocking wood::

I wish I could be cavelier about this.....

the game's afoot,

but I'm really feeling quite stressed, and vulnerable at this time.

We'll just have to see how it goes. 

Please continue sending light and good thoughts.

Lots of trial prep ahead based on first days of trial.

Lighter

[mudpuppy]

It's a terrible thing to watch people get caught in lies and deceit.

Hmmm, I have found it one of the most wonderful experiences in life. It's also a wonderful thing to see a smart judge realize just what kind of creeps he or she is dealing with.

It's a terrible thing to feel such ferocious hatred and animosity directed at me personally by people who aren't trying very hard to control it.

That is a terrible thing for anyone, but it's also a badge of honor when the people who hate you are the crazy whack jobs who hate all of the decent things in life.

mud

[Hopalong]

Hi Lighter,
I wrote you a post saying I hoped my "communication" post didn't come across lecturey (busted) but it vanished....

I am SO glad to hear about this judge, who sounds as though her head is screwed firmly onto her neck.

Tsunamis.

Light.

love to you,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Lighter it sounds as though things are going your way.  Something that has always been very validating for me is other people's inability to cover their shock when they are told of something that you have been made to believe is normal/acceptable/for your own good.  It sounds as if this is happening right now - on court record as well.  I think you're doing an amazing thing, it may even help others in a similar situtation in the future?

Sending light and love your way.  Rooting for you ((((((((((((((((((((((Lighter)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[sKePTiKal]

Lighter, hon -- it's only the Emperor who thinks he's wearing fine, fancy clothes.
Everyone else knows he's just as nekkid as the one kid in the audience is pointing out. The adults are simply speechless in the face of such insanity and too polite (or politically correct) to ask him to go put real clothes on.

That is a terrible thing for anyone, but it's also a badge of honor when the people who hate you are the crazy whack jobs who hate all of the decent things in life.

Oh man - the profound and elusive mudbug offers up another really attractive and sane perspective! (just teasing...)  Thanks very much mud. I needed to hear this and you put it out there plain & simple; loud and clear. Some of us still have that fear -- that being "hated" by screwed up people = abandonment, shunning, left to die in the wilderness that Ns really want us believe they can do to us. It's so totally not true.

[lighter]

Hi Lighter,
I wrote you a post saying I hoped my "communication" post didn't come across lecturey (busted) but it vanished....

Hops, what I heard you say in your post was similar to what I was trying to say in my post.

The revelation for me has been to release the expectations my listener will come to conclusions, and to educate the listener only, without expectation.

When I came to this board I was struggling with many things, but the chronic struggle has been learning to speak so I'm not judged for the way I speak.  Being disliked, dismissed, and punished bc the listener is offended by my communication style has been catastrophic, in some cases, for me. 

Speaking about highly charged emotional issues without emotion is difficult, but necessary.

I feel like I won the lottery

Thanks for all your support,
Lighter

[lighter]

It's a terrible thing to watch people get caught in lies and deceit.

Hmmm, I have found it one of the most wonderful experiences in life. It's also a wonderful thing to see a smart judge realize just what kind of creeps he or she is dealing with.

It's a terrible thing to feel such ferocious hatred and animosity directed at me personally by people who aren't trying very hard to control it.

That is a terrible thing for anyone, but it's also a badge of honor when the people who hate you are the crazy whack jobs who hate all of the decent things in life.

mud

Again, I have to defer to you..... you're ahead of me by several years in the civil judicial system with your "crazy whack jobs" (CWJ's for short), but I find myself a bit skeptical/hopeful at the same time about best case scenarios, should this Judge really really [i]"get it." [/i] 

I'll save my typical whine, (you're very familiar with it) and agree that whatever happens, I'll keep calm and carry on. 

I just really really don't want to spend the balance of my children's childhoods in civil courts, but you already know that.

Nuff said.

Lighter

Oh, who am I kidding.  IF this Judge gets it, and nothing much comes of these revelations as far as consequences, and accountability goes for the CWJ's......
I'm not sure how demoralizing that will be, Mud.  I'm afraid the civil court system is the perfect vehicle for PD CWJ's, and that even when we win, the system costs so much in time, money and energy that we're always going to lose, and that's just not acceptable to me right now.  ::shaking head::  When does it end?  Does it end?

[lighter]

Amber and Tupp:

Thanks for all the support....

I appreciate it.

Light

[sKePTiKal]

Yer welcome, Light...

Look - I get your point about losing, even if you technically "win" the suit. It's a valid point.
But there's another one, too -- and that's the point, that you will bounce back easier, faster, and with less "hangover" -- should you legally win. Will it be "over" -- once and for all?

Sigh. We can't know for sure. But it sure gives you a stronger position in the future.

I completely understand your reservations about the judicial system... and whether the judge will "get" what kind of extortion, slander, and spin the CWJs are using to paint a picture of you. I still believe, that the best thing you can do is hold your head up... square your shoulders... know in your heart the truth... and let the CWJs do their damndest. The only thing you can control is you... so breathe through it... and know for a fact, that other people see through distorted claims, self-interest, lies and innuendos just as well as you do.

Ya gotta let them try, anyway. And trust that they know a snake when they see one, too.

[mudpuppy]

but I find myself a bit skeptical/hopeful at the same time about best case scenarios

We only get to play the hand we're dealt. The best case scenario for a bad hand is never going to be as good as if we were dealt a straight flush, but what are you going to do? Reality is reality.

mud