Alcoholic Sex Addict?

[Overcomer]

Hey Guys:  I didn't know who else to turn to.  I really don't talk about my sex life to many people.

If you know me at all you know that I have complained that my husband is an alcoholic.  About a couple months ago I drew a line in the sand and told him I was done.  No more drinking period.  Well, unless we were out with friends - he never gets out of control when we are in a group.

So he has gone weeks without drinking.  So I noticed all of a sudden he wants sex 2-3 times per week.  I have to tell you I would be happy at once a month. 

I am on chemo and have been really sick but he just attacks me out of no where.  I am sitting there about to watch Grey's Anatomy and he pounces on me.  He gets this Chester the Molester look on his face and I just push him away.  He's mad at me.

But I got to thinking.  I truly think he is downstairs on the computer looking at porn.  He isn't drinking so he needs to fuel his addiction with something.  I don't feel loved when we "do it."  I feel like he wants to stare at my body parts.......I know TMI.

So do you think he has replaced drinking with an insatiable desire for sex?

[Izzy_*now*]

Hi OC,

I suggest you read some online articles about AA.

One thing I learned from reading and in person was the ex-N quit drinking and took up another addiction ...porn. Yet he had been years and years into porn: so much so, that a real woman was not what turned him on, usually 2 or more women in porn.

Also suggested is to NOT replace alcohol with a 'new' addiction, which is usually, a 'single' guy getting hot and heavy into sex, because he is not working on his real issues.

As well, a male and female alcoholic in AA recovery ought to not start an intimate relationship, likely for the same reasons...not working on the main problem.

Many men will masturbate to porn, so much so, again, that real sex is of no interest to them.

If he knows you prefer more like once a month, is he 'punishing' you?  Whatever, it sounds as though not drinking is bringing out his other side--- like Jekyll and Hyde....just a rhyme for you!

Can you see any way that he IS working on the alcohol part?

Good Luck

xxoo
Izzy

P.S.
Dr. Bob, co-founder with Dr. Bill, of AA was a sex addict with young ladies and that became his downfall, part anyway, after he quit drinking.

[Twoapenny]

Hi O,

Yes, pretty much everything Izzy said.  It does sound like he's swapped one for another.  It sounds like he's not valuing you at the moment, or being very considerate towards you.

I've found that you can't force someone else to do what they need to do, but I've always found it helpful to understand the basics (of addiction, for example) because it helps me separate the addiction from the person.  For some reason that just helps me to cope better.  So yes, AA, and any other addiction group in your area would be helpful.

Hugs to you ((((((((((((((Overcomer))))))))))))))))))))))))