Sometimes you gotta go, where everybody knows your name.....

[Redhead Erin]

and they are always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see, troubles are all the same.
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.....

At the end of September, a beloved family pet took sick.

• THe next week, my husbands car threw its trasmission.
  The week after that, the pet became sicker, and required hospitalization.
  Hubs got his car back and I thought my shifter was sticking, so I took me car to the shop.  What I thought was a minor problem turned out to be major tranny work.
  NM had strong armed me into taking her to Lake Geneva the first week in October.  Since the pet (a chicken, please dont laugh) was still hospitalized, AI told her we would have to put the trip off to the next week.
  The same day I found out about the transmission, the chicken became sicker and required surgery.
  The following day, my sweet little hen died on the operating table.
  NM told me not ot worry about the car, she would pay for it, and also help with the vet bill.
  The day after that, Ted's great-uncle died.
  The funeral was scheduled fo rthe middle of the Lake Geneva trip. 
  I postponed the trip to later in the week.  DS and I  literally left the funeral, picked up NM, and split for "Vacation" (Hubs had to work.  How I envied him!)
  Vacation was predictably horrible.  NM spent the 4 days alternately trying to manipulate DS and me,  and telling me how she wanted to have a "normal" relationship like her friends have with their daughters. I came home exhausted.
  The next day we turned around again for a 5 day trip (Hubs, me, and kiddo) to our vacation club to celebrate our anniversary.  This was planned months  ago and since we dont pay for accommodations and I cook most of the meas, it is almost free. It would have been much more fun if we had not already suffered devastating financial emergencies and lost a sweet pet, and if we had not been exhausted. Hubs was over-tired, too, because he had spent the entire time I was gone with NM getting the house ship-shape so we could come home to a clean home.
  We got home last Friday. Sunday I called NM to ask her about her promise to help with the car. More tears and manipulation.  Gaslighting. Crazyness. You know the drill....
  Yesterday Hubs went to Human resources to find out about getting a loan to pay for my car
  Today NM called as if nothing had happened to me arrangements f r me to come and pick up my money??????!!!!!
  SHe called me about 10 more times today to mess with me...you can have the money....but not today......she wants me to come get it......not hubs.....Yeah, you know the drill.
  In the middle of one of those calls, hubs came home form work.  I knew form his voice something was wrong...He hit a deer. His car drives, but it is missing a headlight and the hood is crumpled and it is not exactly street-legal.
  He needs my car to get to work.,  after I picked up my car from the tranny place (serious financial gymnastics, but we have to have something to drive!).  I also need new tires, so we had got an estimate for about $300 from NTB. I was going to go there before work.  But when I got there I discovered 1) I forgot my purse and 2) they really wanted $500 for tires, and I don't have it on my credit card.  These tires are a blowout waiting to happen, and if it happens on the back roads coming home, we will both be fucked.  DId I mention our insurance lapsed in all the confusion?
  I know this because Ted got pulled over the other day.  His court date is next week.

[Twoapenny]

Ah Erin, I am so sorry you are going through all of this at the minute.  I'm sorry for the loss of your pet and Ted's uncle as well.  I had a pet chicken called Bluie when I was little, he used to wait at the end of the drive for me to get home from school and then follow me round the yard all night.  They're very sweet, affectionate birds

I don't really have any practical advice to offer.  Sometimes life throws a lot at us at once and all we can do is deal with it as best we can and muddle through.  Hopefully the court will be lenient in view of the different things that were going on at the time and see it as an over sight rather than a deliberate act.  Can you prove a good insurance history in the past?  That might help.  Maybe borrow the money for the car from HR rather than your mum, it sounds like less hassle if it's possible?

It sounds like one of those times that, when it's all over, you can look back on and think "We're good.  We got through that".  But it's tough going in the meantime.  Hang on in there, and keep posting - I find just getting it off my chest amongst those who understand helps.

(((((((((((((((((Erin))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[sKePTiKal]

AH... Life's neon arrow has you in it's sights... and not in a good way.
It happens to us all. It's just your turn - for now. Everyone I know has gone through these kinds of things -- sometimes way more than once.

Life doesn't have a good attention span and things will calm down again.
That's just as predictable and a sure thing, as the first "condition".

Breathe... you'll get through this. In the meantime, it's perfectly ok to let off steam, feel squashed, even whine... whatever. Go ahead and be that - temporarily. Rest, eat well, cocoon a bit... then get back up & busy again. Nothing wrong with taking a little "time-out" to just feel what ya feel... let it all sink in... and step back from the place where it feels life/death until you feel solid enough to do what needs to be done... and it's just another chore on the list.

[Redhead Erin]

this week I am concentrating on getting things back to normal--establishing and re-establishing morning and bedtime routines for my son and me, getting back into our lessons (we were in about the second week of homeschool when all this started) and putting away all the stuff from our vacations. I am probably going to get a new chicken too.  I know you can't just replace one pet with another--god knows I've lost enough critters over the years.  But I have considered it carefully and it just feels like something is missing in the house.  Its been about 3 weeks now, and I've only just stopped crying over it. 

Some other things I have done for mysef:
--Removed all the clutter from the exercise room so I can use it again (sucks having only one car and not being able to go to the gym!)'
--Taking time to work on my website
--Straightening up the bedroom, which has been a mess for months
--tackling the pile of paperwork next to my computer.

[Ales2]

Wow Erin....I had a tough time just reading your post. So sorry you are going through this. Wish I could send some practical advice  - so please accept all my best wishes to you. Hang in there! 

[Redhead Erin]

Thanks, everybody, for just being here.  This has been such an exhausting month.

I didnt even realize how hard it had drained me, until I was walking around the house almost literally unable to keep my eyes open.  I went to bed early and the next day I got up and typed this post--and now I feel a million times better! How about that.

[Ales2]

Good to hear you are feeling better.

Just noticed your Mothers Day playlist and loved it - its brilliant!