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Voicelessness and Bullying

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Ales2:
Hey Sun,
First of all, happy birthday. Sorry to hear it was not great and exacerbated by the problems at work. You deserve happiness in all its forms - health, family, fun and work, so sending you best wishes for wonderful things to come your way.

In answer to your question, I think what happens in recognizing Nism or bullies is that experiences in life provide filters and thats how people see and interpret the world. Once a discovery is made, a new filter appears, and that filter is a bit of an optical illusion at times, because people tend to see what they are filtering. Kind of like what Tony Robbins talks about - our reticular activating system which is simply our eyes seeing what we've suggested.  If I told you to look out for yellow VW bugs, or Arizona license plates, check out how many you'd see. And, suddenly you'd feel invaded by bugs from Arizona. :)

Lets both hope that if your job ends, a wonderful new one will come along, with a better environment, more money and more fulfillment for you. You deserve it all and dont let anyone suggest you settle for less.

Best, Ales

BonesMS:
(((((((((Sun))))))))))

I'm wondering if registering at a temp agency will help in finding new employment.  In the meantime, I don't blame you for leaving.  You've done your best and enough is enough.  You can walk away with a clear conscience.

Bones

lighter:
Sun:

Document at work.

Collect your paycheck.

Do your job.

Keep applying for other jobs.

Collect your paycheck.

At this point I hope you can gain some emotional distance, and try to look on with some amusement....... it's such an odd thing to see so many people fall under the spell of a toxic controlling PD........ people write fiction that isn't this strange, kwim?

I guess you try to rise above, ask yourself what happened to your boss, and CEO that made them the way they are, and thank God you have a grip on reality, aren't harming other people, and hopefully have your health.

There's going to be a reason you went through this, and someday it will become clear.....

keep calm, and carry, Sun.

You'll move on and find a better place.....

the PD's will always be stuck in their self manufactured hells.

Happy birthday, and remember to count your blessings.  You sounds so much stronger than when you were looking for work, and suffering very badly over FOO issues a while back. 

It sounds like you've come a long way, and this won't destroy you......

it'll just make you stronger.

Lighter

Hopalong:
FWIW, I still think, Sun...Don't Quit Your Job.

(Maybe I'm just projecting anxieties about unemployment.)

I'd focus instead on two parallel things:

--challenging and dialing back your reactivity to this toxic supervisor's "trigger" remarks/comments/behaviors
--be aware of your verbal interpretations of these (I am humiliated, shamed, marginalized, invalidated, etc.) -- all of which in some sense require your interpretation/cooperation (the Eleanor Roosevelt thing about nobody can victimize you without your permission, or something like that)
--continue to do an excellent job without interpreting how others value or don't value it
--while all the above, seriously look for a new job in a methodical way

Enjoy your exit after you have secured a new position elsewhere...

This may be wrong. But I still think, Don't Quit. (Because the effect of unemployment on your life and your mental health could wind up being
more or less equivalent to the effect of this stressful situation.)

It's not a GOOD answer, I'm offering. I'm sorry. There may not be one.

love to you,
Hops

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