Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
JustKathy:
Thanks Bones. <3
Tup, I really appreciate your input. A warning is a good idea, though in all honesty, even if I got an actual restraining order, they'd ignore it. My co-F lives in his own little fantasy world and wouldn't take it seriously. If it came from his daughter, it would be perceived as silly or cute.
Yesterday I received a Christmas card from Co-F, so now that I've been discovered, it looks like the cards will start coming again. I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should start returning them again, or just drop them in the recycle bin. Ignoring them would probably get to NM the most.
Right now I think my biggest concern is whether or not NM is using my crazy SIL to do her bidding, since co-F is getting on in years. SIL truly is dangerous, so I have reason to be concerned for my safety if she has my address. Unfortunately, I think some added security may be necessary. Our house is very old and in need of remodeling, so I think I'll add a security gate, better door locks and so on. At the very least, a gate will keep them from ringing the doorbell. Sadly, I'm afraid that I'll always be watching my back whenever I go out to walk the dog or do yard work. I know they're watching. :(
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: JustKathy on December 18, 2012, 11:27:34 AM ---Thanks Bones. <3
Tup, I really appreciate your input. A warning is a good idea, though in all honesty, even if I got an actual restraining order, they'd ignore it. My co-F lives in his own little fantasy world and wouldn't take it seriously. If it came from his daughter, it would be perceived as silly or cute.
Yesterday I received a Christmas card from Co-F, so now that I've been discovered, it looks like the cards will start coming again. I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should start returning them again, or just drop them in the recycle bin. Ignoring them would probably get to NM the most.
Right now I think my biggest concern is whether or not NM is using my crazy SIL to do her bidding, since co-F is getting on in years. SIL truly is dangerous, so I have reason to be concerned for my safety if she has my address. Unfortunately, I think some added security may be necessary. Our house is very old and in need of remodeling, so I think I'll add a security gate, better door locks and so on. At the very least, a gate will keep them from ringing the doorbell. Sadly, I'm afraid that I'll always be watching my back whenever I go out to walk the dog or do yard work. I know they're watching. :(
--- End quote ---
Kathy, what an awful situation. I'm wondering if it's worth getting everything written down, as many concrete examples as possible, including SIL if she is the one you are most worried about, and having a word with the police? I know the laws aren't exactly the same in different countries, but when my sister was having a lot of problems with her ex husband the police went round and had a word - nothing formal or heavy, no statements were made, they just popped round and advised him to keep away and told him that if she had cause to report him again they'd take the fact that he'd ignored their warning into account and he'd be treated more harshly in court. I'm just wondering if it's worth having a chat about it, just to see how the land lies and what they might be able to do (if anything). I think the fact you're seriously considering extra security takes this to another level.
I think ignoring is definitely the best way to do - setting fire to things is quite therapeutic (safely, of course, don't want the house going up!). I also still have the sense of constantly being watched, even in my own home! I think it hangs over from being constantly scrutinised as a child and then all the stuff they've done as an adult - control, control, control. I'm sorry this is going on for you. ((((((((((((((((((((Kathy))))))))))))))))))))))))))
JustKathy:
Thanks Tup.
Talking to the police is probably a good idea, though unfortunately they won’t do anything without concrete proof that a real threat exists. Just knowing that SIL has mental health issues won't be good enough. Any threats that I've received from her via email came years ago, so would be disregarded. As for my parents, they'd only see a frail old man and his “dying wife,” whose only crime was sending cards to their daughter.
What I really need to know right now is how that package got in my garage, if co-F did the delivered it, or if it was handed over to crazy SIL. I think I’ll call the police out on the package, and see if they can dust it for prints. If either my brother or SIL’s prints are on it, then I know I have a problem.
I do have an older neighbor who spends his days spying on everyone, so I’m going to talk to him and ask him to keep an eye out. He has a very clear view of our entire neighborhood and can see everything. I don’t think I’ll find anyone who would have witnessed the package drop-off because it was done so quickly, but if anyone is sitting in their car and watching our house, this guy will see it.
Damn, just when i thought I might finally have a peaceful Christmas. Looks like I won't have my first peaceful Christmas until they're both dead and buried. :(
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: JustKathy on December 18, 2012, 04:48:21 PM ---Thanks Tup.
Talking to the police is probably a good idea, though unfortunately they won’t do anything without concrete proof that a real threat exists. Just knowing that SIL has mental health issues won't be good enough. Any threats that I've received from her via email came years ago, so would be disregarded. As for my parents, they'd only see a frail old man and his “dying wife,” whose only crime was sending cards to their daughter.
What I really need to know right now is how that package got in my garage, if co-F did the delivered it, or if it was handed over to crazy SIL. I think I’ll call the police out on the package, and see if they can dust it for prints. If either my brother or SIL’s prints are on it, then I know I have a problem.
I do have an older neighbor who spends his days spying on everyone, so I’m going to talk to him and ask him to keep an eye out. He has a very clear view of our entire neighborhood and can see everything. I don’t think I’ll find anyone who would have witnessed the package drop-off because it was done so quickly, but if anyone is sitting in their car and watching our house, this guy will see it.
Damn, just when i thought I might finally have a peaceful Christmas. Looks like I won't have my first peaceful Christmas until they're both dead and buried. :(
--- End quote ---
(((((((((((((((((((((((JustKathy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
In this day and age, police can no longer afford to assume someone is "harmless" especially NOW after the Newtown massacre. If the SIL has NEVER been treated for her mental illness, it's not going to magically go away. I would still tell the police about it and explain that after you received e-mail threats from her, you BLOCKED her in an attempt to keep you and your family SAFE! Now that these BAT-SHIT CRAZIES have tracked down where you live, you have every reason to do everything in your power to STOP THE STALKING! Talk to the police AND get a restraining order. Don't assume the police will ignore it. The SIL could be crazy enough to take pot-shots at THEM! That scenario has been known to happen and police have died as a result!
Just saying.......
Bones
JustKathy:
Thanks Bones. In the past, I have had the police dismiss unrelated events because I had no witnesses or concrete proof, but I think now, in the wake of recent events, they can't afford to dismiss a potentially life-threatening problem. I have no reason to believe that SIL has ever received treatment for her mental health problems. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and my brother is an exact clone of my Co-Father .... married an N, and defends the bad behavior as "oh well, you know how she is." His only way of dealing with it seems to be sending her away on trips to visit family, or on lengthy cruises to keep her out of the house when he has business.
There are two very disturbing things going on here that need to be reported.
1. I did not give anyone in my family my new address. They paid someone to obtain it for them.
2. Someone trespassed onto my property and dropped off a package without so much as a note.
It needs to be dealt with. My husband is becoming annoyed with all of this and keeps telling me that my father is just old and doing stupid things. I'd accept that if it were only him, but the possibility of SIL's involvement changes everything. We've seen how the mentally ill can simply snap without a moment's notices, and it's a chance I'm not willing to take.
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