OMG, how much lower can they go?

[lighter]

Sorry, Kathy.

I do have you confused... duoh.

Lighter

[JustKathy]

Well, interesting side note to this. I was expecting a bombardment of guilt letters from Co-F, and so far, absolutely nothing. I can only surmise that he was following NM's orders when he sent all the cards, letters, and packages before her death. She orchestrated all of it. With her gone, he doesn't know what to do anymore. Maybe, just maybe, I won't be receiving anymore guilt cards. Everything was done on her command, and she's not there to give the orders anymore.

I'm now thinking that he dumped last year's Christmas box in the garage and ran because he knew we didn't want him around, but he did it because he HAD to deliver the package for his queen. He had to carry out orders or face her wrath. Perhaps this year I'll have my first Christmas without the "gift box of doom."

[lighter]

I really hope you get some blessed peace, Kathy.

Maybe things will remain quiet from here on out?

Lighter

[JustKathy]

Thanks Lighter. I really hope so.

If anything, maybe this gives some hope to others with N mothers. It looks like she was calling the shots right up until the last minute, when she was finally unable to do so any longer. My father sent me cards and letters for years telling me that she was dying, yet when she finally did die, I found out through a second party. He has yet to notify me himself. Every card, every letter, every package, every email, was dictated by her. I'm not sure if this is typical of Co-Fathers, but if it is, then it means we really do get peace when our N Mothers die.

[Twoapenny]

I'm longing for peace for you, Kathy and hoping that your dad will leave you alone now.  It may very well be that your mum was calling the shots all along and that without her he won't know what to do or which way to turn.  I'm just so sorry that things are so bad only them being gone makes it bearable.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kathy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[JustKathy]

Thanks Tup. Yes, it's pretty sad for victims of Ns, that a death is required in order for us to have a normal life. Even sadder when that person is a parent. But we shouldn't feel guilty for having those feelings. Our only crime was being born.

The unfortunate thing is that even after they're gone, we'll never truly have peace because the abuse will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Of course there is an overwhelming sense of relief in knowing that it won't continue, but 40+ years of torment can't be undone. I don't think any of us will ever be 100% whole. There was a recent case here in the States where two teenage boys raped a 16-year-old girl and put it up on YouTube. They were minors, and only got a five year sentence. I heard one reporter say that the rapists got five years, but the victim got a life sentence. That's it, exactly.