It's me again and now I have discarded Emotional_Cripple and taken on my new given name from this forum (thanks to portia guest for the new name).
My question du jour is how do we handle unresponsive siblings in the tragedy of our lives with respect to our Nfathers. I have brought up the problem with both my sisters and they do not seem to put too much stock in it. They both recognize the behaviour and thus I have been vetted , so to speak. The one feels sorry for him and asks what can we do. She will not see how hopeless he is and I do not want to burden her further because she is raising a physically handicapped child and is already quite overwhelmed. She worries about it but obviously has bigger fish to fry and thus appears to cope though his behaviour does manage to get her down at times.
My other sister is doing quite well both emotionally and financially. She just says to ignore him and not to pay any attention to him. It seems to work quite well for her.
Basically, I am confused as to why this is such a big problem for me. Perhaps because I am the only boy in the family and much more pressure was put on me because of the traditional patriarchial upbringing i was so priviledged to have.
Nonetheless, I am the one who manages all the family business and the assets are substantial and the responsibilities large. Yet when it comes up to splitting the inheritance I have progressively been pushed further and further out of the pie. I am led to believe it is because I do not have any children. You can imagine how I feel. I take on all this responsibility and now I am being told I will get nothing while my sister's children will get everything. I am not selfish, but it does bring me to tears. I have sacrificed more than anyone. I feel like I am just a tool to be used.
Don't get me wrong. I love my sisters and all of their children. The only reason i took on this responsibility was to protect my mother's interest. I would gladly walk away from everything and let him screw it up like he did before. I'd rather not have the responsibilities. But I do and I accept that. But I find it so pathetic that HE can not even acknowledge my existence.
The more I think about the whole mess I am tending to see two points and these are related to my previous posts.
1. I think I will decide to hate him because he has never brought me pleasure in my life. He does not deserve pity.
2. I will avoid him as much as possible, ignore what he says and what he does, live in a vacuum in his presence. I will no longer be his pump to inflate his ego.
Wow, I do not feel good talking this way. But I do realize what a waste of life he actually is. If I could disentangle myself from him I would. But I am not willing to give up contact with the rest of my family and extended family for him. If he was gone today, I would not miss him one bit. Instead I would feel like a huge load has been taken off my shoulders.
Anyways, just needed to vent some more. Thanks for listening.
EC
