Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Won attorney fees in custody trial
lighter:
I was very relieved to read your mom's considering the assisted living option, sKep. Esp for your SIL's sake. I bet just listening to the situation is like seeing a train wreck coming down the tracks......
you try to get yourself out of harms way, and batten down the hatches, but you know the fall out's going to be hard to avoid completely.
As for me, my mom's chemo stopped working. We're awaiting biopsy results, with all traditional treatments at a stand still. Our daily ablutions of nutritional and vibrational care are supplemented with as much laughter as can be mustered, which is the best of treatments, I think. It's taken on the feeling of ritual care that's lovely and meaningful.
For everyone, in the way they need it to just......
be.
Almost got the Cyber School figured out, and am continuing to feel good about that choice. I can be here for mom, plan labs, and travel without upsetting the children's regular school routine, which will be a blessing.
I think.
Right now the Ethics Complaints are on hold, which is the advice from another attorney explaining why I shouldn't do anything offensively in the legal system. I'm told I don't want to be interpreted as a bully or sour grapes over the pending litigation :shock:
Ummmm..... me? A bully for calling a bully out on being.....
a bully.
::nodding::
I think this dilemma is the same I was grappling with when I landed on this board. How do you talk about what pd's are doing TO YOU, without being sullied by the words coming out of your mouth? I'm not entirely sure it can be done, and I thought I'd about figured it out. All very confusing to me, and taking a break to focus on more important issues, obviously.
Thanks for asking how I'm doing, sKep. I'm hanging on, with hope, and lots of prayer.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Hey Lighter, I'm sorry to read about your mum. I had no idea you were dealing with that along with everything else. Sending love your way, I hope the news is positive and will be thinking of you all.
Fab news about the home ed. We love it; I can't imagine doing anything else now. Being able to set your own timetable, make the most of good weather, wander around museums and galleries on a quiet weekday, those things are just priceless. Something else I love is that you meet a lot of retired people being out during the day. They are often happy to chat and we've learnt so much from some of them, I think it's nice for them to be able to talk about things they know a lot about and we've certainly learnt a lot about nature and local history from chatting to people. One chap we bump into quite regularly is ex Navy and he's told us so much about his sea days and Naval History. What I really like is the healing aspect of all of this; you are in complete control (something many of us have never had) and in contact with nice people who are happy to give without demanding anything back. It's a good experience.
I'm confused about the complaints as well! Are you being told not to do it because it will make you look bad? I'm astonished. It is hard to talk about those sorts of things, I often find the victim is judged more harshly than the abuser, which is odd as well.
Hoping good things come your way, Lighter, you deserve them and I hope you find your path. Lots of love xxx
sKePTiKal:
Let me know if you need some cyber ed help, Light - my hubs SIL home-schooled; last one at home is 14 I think later this year. She's a little busy this summer, with the oldest D getting married in Sept. And from the techie side, I supported all that hardware, software stuff... and taught the faculty how to use it. ;) I'll warn ya tho - that professor hat jumps out and wraps itself around my head once I get into it. You'll have to tell me when to shut up; when you can't process any more information! LOL...
The mom thing... well... I know what it's like. Big hugs. You'll not regret the time or work involved nor all the laughter.
Hopsie... I already know that if the arrangements were already made (with my mom's approval), that a: there would a psychotic episode associated with moving to look forward to and b: happiness and bliss in the new digs would last a total of 6 weeks, before the bitching resumed. What's huge for me is that I don't care. LOL. I already know we can't win - if we define winning as making mom "happy". Ain't never gonna happen. Two year olds are easier to keep in that range, than my mom is. It doesn't matter anymore to me.
I would have to explain to the staff that mom is.... "difficult"; to put it mildly. I'd have to be specific. I'd have to warn them about specific things.
Which gets back around to what Lighter was saying: what kind of world is this, when you can't accuse a bully of being a bully -- without being accused of doing the same thing?? I believe there's a way through that - one that allows a person to keep their dignity, yet speak very clearly to the issues and the facts, and by simple contrast - doesn't require elaborate explanations or histories; reality is apparent to all with eyes and even a basic understanding of human nature. (Now, getting one's head to that place - LOL - THAT's a mystery!! I know it can be done; I don't know how it's done... even tho' I've had a few moments close to it.)
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---reality is apparent to all with eyes and even a basic understanding of human nature
--- End quote ---
Hear, hear.
Wiser words never spoken.
I'm glad you have that pragmatic, reality-is-reality attitude toward all this, PR.
It's going to save you so much grief.
Lighter, I too am so very sorry about your Mom. Much support, comfort.
That is a very hard chapter, for her and for you...please keep on posting.
love
Hops
lighter:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on July 24, 2013, 10:05:20 AM ---
(Now, getting one's head to that place - LOL - THAT's a mystery!! I know it can be done; I don't know how it's done... even tho' I've had a few moments close to it.)
--- End quote ---
Skep: Thanks for the offer of support with homeschooling. I'm so ready to focus on that, and hopefully very soon I can. Right now Mom's appt at MD Anderson was moved up to first of August from 7th. That's great news. They're the ones with ability to test for specific cancer information and create targeted cocktail since we now understand we're dealing with more than one type of cancer in one organ. Also, MD Anderson is very interested in her case....... all seems hopeful.
I want to say the vibrational therapy has given mom the best sleep she's ever had in her life, and it's the nicest attempt at meditation I've ever made a run at.
As for the complaints against the attorney.... it was said a factual, on point complaint, sans emotion, would be viewed as "sour grapes."I also don't want to end up answering a bunch of questions up on the stand about the complaint if this custody thing had to go back to trial again.
You can imagine how much confusion that might create, a bit harder to keep emotions under wraps while being poked under pressure, but......
NOT filing does nothing to back down the machine working against me either. THAT's the goal. To stop the madness right now. It's maddening to have to always sit back, and let things unfold without addressing the ethics violations that landed us so deeply mired in whatever it is we're in. It's maddening to always be reacting (which is never proactive), and never officially be proactive in ways that.... eh. It always turns into a circular conversation. Chaos and confusion rule, just like the pd's plan and carry out.
::shaking head::
I'll look at it this way..... there's a reason for not filing now. I just don't know what it is. I'll understand later on. The goal was to shorten my struggle, not punish the PD's, but if that's all that's accomplished when this shakes out, then I'll just have to see how I feel about it then. Oh heck, this isn't about vengeance, if it doesn't shorten my struggle, the these complaints will be added to others, or lay foundation for those that follow.
I guess I know in my soul that attempts to minimize the time, money, trauma equation rare work with pd's, if ever.
Tupp: I love the idea of wondering about museums and chatting up wise retired spirits. I've always been one to ask questions like "What would you change if you could go back and do something different?" of elderly folks waiting for a table at crowded restaurants, and such. I want to hear the lessons they've learned, and learn from them too. Thanks for all the good thoughts and ideas. So glad to hear you and your son are enjoying yourselves.
Hops:
Thanks for the kind thoughts. I really appreciate the support and fellowship I've found here.
Lighter
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