Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
My brother and just life and stuff
Meh:
I called my father because he now has $800.00 worth of my personal belongings.
Pretty much he wanted to tell me his stupid justification for now owning my stuff which I bought brand new. I told him he could have gone out and gotten his own stuff.
I started yelling on the phone at him I called him a piece if sheet. He said I was being verbally abusive.....ah duh....
I really want him to go away, I don't like him.
It only confirms to me that it was true that I was voiceless when I was growing up. My voice never mattered.
Now so many years down the road all I could really do was listen to my own voice talking louder than his during this "conversation".
Basically if he wants something he is just going to be a slime bag about it.
I need to go turn the microwave on again. Be back in a few.
Meh:
I just can't keep composure having to talk with him.
I'm not happy with him having my stuff and any respectful person would respect that. But he doesn't.
I frequently think about just cutting losses now in life. Though some how I am finding myself in situations where I feel like there are numerous situations where there are "losses" and at some point I don't want to have the feeling of losses any longer. Literally losing money.
I'm angry.
I'm also tired.
I felt like the further I got away from him the more "progress" I was making because I feel better when I don't have to deal with him. It's 100% conflict and his warped universe. Now here he is again and now it's costing me money on top of it.
It just never goes away ever. My parents initially must have recognized some kind of mutual mental illness in each other and therefore found some affinity in each other long ago.
Why am I still dealing with it?
There were no real "relationships" in my family that healthy adults have. I mean I would say it was nothing but manipulation from every person's part. manipulative relationships --not the same as real interpersonal relationships
God just let it be over already
I feel like I can never be who I want to be. I don't want to be defined by something from the past.
Meh:
I'm awake drinking instant coffee, trying to get motivated to surf craigslist. It's almost 7 AM. I am sitting cross legged on the floor and have the country station on.
Oh that reminds me I need to make an email about my prescription if that is the one thing I do today Halleluja however that is spelled.
Hopalong:
Sometimes country music just says it ALL.
I'm sorry you're feeling bleak.
Here's my all-time favorite for you, Bean...moved me so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr_IqxxaLs0
xo
Hops
Meh:
Hi Hops, I never saw this person perform on AGT.
That is pretty cool, kind of weird how humorous the audience thought he was considering there are an awful lot of "rednecks" in this world.
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