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Am I Passive Aggressive ?

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Ales2:
Hi Thanks to both of you for responses.

PAD is Passive Aggressive Disorder - which is chronic and occurs over longer periods of time. Some psychs distinguish between PAD and PA behavior, because some people are passive some of the time, for example, when we cant deal with Ns anymore, we just give them the silent treatment, but we call it NC, the silent treatment is passive aggression in some instances. Rather than expressing ourselves, we just close down the communication. Anyway, PA can also be triggered by life events where helplessness can set in and people beging to sabotage themselves with tardiness, excuses and other means that are passive.

And, yes it most certainly is the therapists job to help you build the ladder out of the hole, show you where it is or suggest you construct one on your own. It saddens me that I was told by someone else, that changing myself sometimes changes the dynamic of the relationship. Many parents stop abusing their adult children when the realize they wont come back, which is where I am at now.

And, yes I was traumatized by my job, never got any validation from anyone with that difficulty, including the t, and I have been exhausted by the ordeal.

10 down 30 more to go. :)

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: Ales2 on September 11, 2013, 05:40:12 PM ---Hi Thanks to both of you for responses.

PAD is Passive Aggressive Disorder - which is chronic and occurs over longer periods of time. Some psychs distinguish between PAD and PA behavior, because some people are passive some of the time, for example, when we cant deal with Ns anymore, we just give them the silent treatment, but we call it NC, the silent treatment is passive aggression in some instances. Rather than expressing ourselves, we just close down the communication. Anyway, PA can also be triggered by life events where helplessness can set in and people beging to sabotage themselves with tardiness, excuses and other means that are passive.

And, yes it most certainly is the therapists job to help you build the ladder out of the hole, show you where it is or suggest you construct one on your own. It saddens me that I was told by someone else, that changing myself sometimes changes the dynamic of the relationship. Many parents stop abusing their adult children when the realize they wont come back, which is where I am at now.

And, yes I was traumatized by my job, never got any validation from anyone with that difficulty, including the t, and I have been exhausted by the ordeal.

10 down 30 more to go. :)


--- End quote ---

Ah Ales, well I'm glad you're at a point where you can look back and see things from a different perspective but you are right, sometimes those new realisations are painful and difficult to manage.  I've had something a little similar recently in realising that some of my friends weren't what I wanted them to be, I've been through a bit of a down time because of it (feeling unlikeable, why me, what did I do wrong, all that sort of stuff).  Have got over the hump again now but it is such hard going when you're in it, you've done so well and it's brilliant that you've lost weight at the same time.  Has the weight loss helped you feel better in a physical way?  I'm always amazed at the difference half a stone in either direction can make to the way I feel about myself

Meh:
We all have some kind of problematic weirdness to our personalities. I don't think procrastinating is the same as passive aggressive. To me passive aggressive is trying to be a secretive jerk.

Ales2:
Hi - yes, the weightloss has helped. I also see how many people I trust and value try to quickly tell me it cant be done or the number I am aiming for is too thin (i weighed that just five years ago, its a very reasonable number for me) or how I can be on a diet and the other person insists on over ordering expecting me to share. Ugh.   Happened last night and I did not assert myself. Friend was late, we get to movie theater at 7:20 for 7:30 movie and had to decide between dinner or movie (instead of her being on time and showing up at 6 to get dinner then movie.) Foolishly, I said dinner because if we see the movie the restaurants will close early and its too late to eat. Dinner would have been fine had I not over ordered.  Oh, well, another lesson learned.

And yes, greenbean, "secretive jerk" is it completely!  The issue with procrastination and other excuse type behaviors (traffic was bad, bus was late, no milk at the store) is its hard to see if its truthful or a manipulation. Most people are in-your-face jerks, which at least you can deal with at the time.

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