from so old friends. I'm shaking a bit as it has always been hard for me to post, I'm hugely insecure when it comes to posting...so I'm trying to be brave and just do it and reach out.
A little back ground... My middle teenage daughter got pregnant and has since had a beautiful, healthy daughter, after a bit of a scary start. Fast forward and today my granddaughter is 14 months old, her mother M is now 20 they live in our home with me and my husband and youngest daughter S who is 18.
Okay, Now the real problem... my two daughters have changed drastically in the last 2-3 years. They have become people I don't know and sadly scare the crap out of me.
I watch my granddaughter and love her with every fiber of my being. Her father isn't even 19 yet and lives at home with his parents and girlfriend, ( they broke up shortly after the birth of my granddaughter).
So basically we have to very young immature children raising their daughter with the help of both grandparents.
The father has had problems with anger, law etc. Is now on probation, and see therapist with my daughter court ordered. We took out a loan for a lawyer for our daughter to be represented.
My daughter has physical full time custody and they share legal joint custody, he recently started paying child support court ordered and had visitation court ordered.
So that is where they are right now.
Off track, now my problem. I feel like an abused person in my own home. I try and keep away from them as they are not home much. When they are I shake, and feel at their mercy. M is silent but a royal selfish unappreciative B, so sad to say about your own child.
I could make a list of her behavior but it would take forever and bore you.
For example I am able to watch her baby, she gives me no notice of schedule changes, or even gives me her up coming weeks schedule. As I have no life in her eyes, or am not worthy to be treated decent.
I was sleeping in yesterday thinking I wasn't needed till 4pm. She wakes me up from a deep sleep to tell me she has a dentist appointment and asks if I can watch A my granddaughter.
Well, I really was trying to catch up on rest as I am tired, but I said yes when......I'm leaving in 10 minutes. No lie.
Of course as an outsider tell her to take a hike. Well, if I don't she will post on FB can someone watch A, which she has done twice, what nut case would do that...my daughter!
She basically has me by the balls because of my granddaughter and my fear of her safety.
Now daughter S my 18 year old has gone off the deep end. I believe she gets very angry and verbally aggressive from her addiction to FB, Twitter what ever social sites young people use. I believe she can't handle knowing other peoples business and some how ends up entwined in verbal fights over boys or girls being fake etc.. Craziness I can't understand. She has chosen to wait a year to attend college. Now she works full time and is out all hours of the night.
Yesterday while my granddaughter was at her dads my daughter M calls my husband and I to tell us S is psycho blah blah blah. Dh and I rush home. I stake in car in my driveway because I am afraid of what might be going on inside my own home.
My husband finds my daughter sitting on the couch alone while my other daughter and her friend are upstair getting ready to go to a fall fair. My 18 year old is screaming from the bottom of her lungs. I can hear her in my car! I sit there in shock and ask how did this happen to our family.
Come to find out my husband says she lost it because she was going to fair with them and was mad because her iphone was going to go dead. Obviously this does not make sense. She then starts yelling about having no money, no car etc... just went off.
Dh told her to stop and sit down and to breath, he told her you're going to give yourself a heart attack over a phone. I'm sure someone had a car charger for her to use that night, still I believe it just being out of her hands in 5 minutes would through her into a fit.
Finally she calmed down and they all left. At 11:30 my 18 year old texts me if she can sleep over a friends house, I say "NO", she then harasses me by begging please, by text then called me three times i did not answer after I said no.
more texts.......I finally say yes but am not happy. To tell you the truth by that point I felt I was safer with her out than in my home.
What I want is both daughters to leave my home. My 18 year old has made almost 7 thousand in the last 6 months and has nothing to show for it, fast food, gas money for rides with friends, tattoos (she thinks I don't know about), clothes.....just blowing it on junk.
The only bill she has is her phone $80 a month. So she has had it very easy and she went from saving to then blowing her paychecks.
M mother 20, has a small car loan $80 a month, cell $80 and car insurance about $275 a month. She got 6 thousand back from taxes and should of payed her car insurance with it instead she blew it with in three months. Car windows tinted, week end trip, concert and who know what.
I enable them, to stop the fights I just keep to myself as much as possible and let them run me into the ground.
I'm terrible at putting my thoughts together in print...sorry! I hope you can get a gist and would answer any questions to clarify. I am not proud of my parenting skills in the last year or so, I got beaten down and they won, with shame I admit this.
They have both been asked not asked not to come home before. Each time the asked to come back and promised to go by our rules etc. Never lasts. They stayed at friends homes till they wore their welcome.....3-7 days.
And to top it off my N sister had a mini stroke and that is another nightmare in the works!
I can't live like this anymore, not another day.
Bless your heart if you even got thru half of this mess. Warmly seasons x
