Since I have been going through a resurgence of issues with NM lately, I started doing some reading again. One trick I figured out that NM does is that instead of dealing with me when she has an issue/problem, she runs to my sister to try to get her upset with me too. So now my sister tells me and I just confront NM, tell her if she has an issue to address it with me and remind her that my sister has a family and a busy job and doesn't need to be bothered with our problems. It's not at all what my NM is trying to accomplish, but it is diminishing the problem and, I hope, helping my sister keep away from that awful middle ground. I think my sister is catching on!!!
I am only a problem for my NM when I don't fit into her pretend stories for her family. The only people my NM likes/respects are her brothers and sisters. So if she can't pretend I am her darling daughter, she gets angry.
Just a share! Hope you all are doing well!
Beth
