After receiving this note from NM, I just decided I cannot do the drama right now. I have told her I need a break but that she can still talk to the kids on FaceBook. (She NEVER talks to them anyways, but I don't want to give her the ammunition to say I cut her out). As you can guess, this is over the top drama - we have never been friends and she has always considered me weird and has assigned other unflattering attributes to me. I am not ready to move forward with her yet. I need some time. I am not ready to forgive her for leaving dad in the hospital and basically abandoning him. Maybe I can do this one day...
"Please, Honey, do you think we could go back to being friends? I miss you and I need you. I was upset that you hadn't told me about (your orders). It was important to me, even though it didn't seem a big thing to you. I had been waiting to hear what you were doing, and you knew I wasn't on Facebook anymore. Please just know that I want to know what's going on with you, and when you don't even bother to tell me, it seems like you don't care about me. I had to hear it from someone else. PLEASE can we just go back to our trusting mother-daughter relationship? You are my daughter, and you are important to me. I need your love and companionship, and sometimes your advice. We are all hurting right now. And I also know what it's like to lose your father. It seems so unfair and unbearably sad. You just want to make things like they were. I remember how lost I felt when my father died. Now I feel that again, with your dad. I miss him so very much. I just can't believe, don't want to believe, that we have to go on the rest of our lives without him. I've re-lived the last six months of his life, and I know how hard it was for him. He still tried to joke and act like before, but he was so tired and so hurting. I cry every time I think about it. You can cry, too, Elizabeth. Cry with me. Let me try to comfort you. I want to. And you have your dear husband and the children.
I may come over again since you're going to be there another year. I'll see how my finances are and how things are when I get settled with both houses. Would you want me to come? I don't mean out of duty, I mean because you want to see me. If you're not ready to see me, I will not come. I'd rather you told me the truth. I see that counselor today. I missed the last appointment."
BTW - the counselor was recommended by her doctor after dad died. I told her she should talk about her rages with him since they were unacceptable to me. I told her after that rage that I felt she had a problem and should address it with a T to deal with her anger. She, of course, went silent for a while then popped back up like nothing.
So what can I expect will happen now????
Beth