thanks, Ales.
I shared it with my T this morning.
I've had a funny response to this. But it has helped SO much.
What I can describe is that from the very first phrase he said,
"If someone can walk away from you, let them walk" -- something
just instantly responded, inside me.
It was like I had been waiting for that message. I felt an instantaneous
healing of a small piece of my self-esteem. It was like, he wasn't blaming
or judging or explaining, he was just saying, RELEASE THIS OUTCOME.
There's no explaining how/why it hit me the way it did...maybe part of
it is that I grew up in the South with many strong feelings of trust for
the African Americans I encountered in my young life...something about
them understanding pain that I knew without it being said. So for some
reason, this A-A preacher (though I'm not of his faith) -- reached my sore
heart.
It didn't remove the pain, it will still come and go, but it gave me an ANSWER
for myself. Because it rang true. It really was a comfort. He was giving me
permission, in that moment, to let go of the grief.
It'll come back. It does. But his 4-minute message is so powerful for me.
I beleive that I can play that over and over. Any time I am sinking further
into the pain. It will help me re-release her, let her go...understand that
life and meaning and worth, for both of us, are all part of something much
larger than her suffering and her estrangement. Or than my suffering.
He just helps me, in that clip, to let it go.
Thanks for watching it, and letting me talk about it more.
love,
Hops