Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

carry on up the Khyber

<< < (2/4) > >>

Hopalong:
This sounds like childbirth.
But longer.
And with a mean OB.
And no ice chips.
And no drugs.
And no sleep.
And ....

Oy
oy
oy

I feel for you Sea and it's good that you are an amazing
writer/narrator in the midst of it all.

You really are sane.
You are just exhausted.

Do what you can to preserve your health while
this goes on...

It WILL end, just make sure YOU don't!
Nothing matters more than YOU.

No stuff, no convenience, no timing.

I'm really sorry about the expense.
But bravo to you for making it happen.

love
Hops

lighter:
Wow, Sea.....

you keep getting curve balls, and they don't take you out.

You rise to the challenges, and in these things there are always challenges.

Scamper, Sea.

Put out the fires, and keep moving toward your new little vintage cottage, with the vine covered patio, and cool lower floor.

This too shall pass.

Lighter((((Sea)))))

Gaining Strength:
Oh my goodness SeaStorm, what a difficult experience. I am so sorry to read about your moving experience. It is painful to read. I am interested to hear how you are doing on this side of it. How have you survived? How did you come through on the other end? Thinking of you Sea.

sea storm:
The move was monumental. The guy who moved me has two autistic children and he was so laudable and calm and polite. Courage under fire kind of guy.  He had a big truck and made about 6 trips and the Philippino guys made about 10 trips.  Everyone was working so so hard and they were good guys. I loved them. At the end of the day I tripped and fell in a hole and they picked me up so professionally. I have two knee replacements so when I fall it is not a pretty picture.  They said Of course we can pick up .. We're movers!

Ok so far so good right?   The guys who bought my house were quite bonkers. I don't care as it has taken five years to sell the place. They delivered a huge load of things from the yard including logs??????? Cupboards and carpets torn from the house????? It cost me 240 to get it removed and I had to call the police to get them to stop delivering stuff from their house renovations. I thought I was gong to have a friggin heart attack over this. There is no by law to prevent people from dumping stuff on one's property. The moving guys heard about this and they were most annoyed.  It is very rash to do such things in a small town. Karma comes down insidiously and inevitably. The police said it is  not a criminal matter and I could get a lawyer which a won't do.  This is like some kind of stalker revenge weird personality disordered chaos that needs to be ignored and is a great opportunity for Buddhist practice.

So many awful things happened. I wrote a tirade about my Christian friends who baled on me at the last possible minute. THen when I tried to get on Voicelessness I was denied access. I thought is was my slagging Christians. I am back now though. I was a raving maniac for awhile there.

What i did about the Christians who baled and considering that things actually worked out after all and in a random, magical, non- linear and better way all hysteria aside ..... was to send an email saying.  Everything worked out for the best, B.

Received email back.  Thats super!!!.........  That is why email and texting is almost completely insane.
All that was condensed into an inane text.  And now it is jetisoned into cyberspace and I am not going after it.

I have landed in a little neighbourhood of friendly people that are interesting. They waited for about five days and they are all porch monkeys ie. They sit on their porches in the afternoon when it is hot. They saw me out pruning roses and came over offering enthusiasm, welcome and themselves.  Gino started to figure out the watering system. THe lady across the street invited me to see her big koi fish, They shared a recipe for rhubard and I gave them a bunch. Whoever lived here was crazy about rhubarb, raspberries and roses.

So although I feel like I have been through a Tibetan Bardo or something like that it is rolling into a better place to be. I will stay here I hope until the house falls down around me and I have to live in one little room like a buddhist nun. When the insurance people come and say I have to get a new roof I will just have a sign on the door " Bev not home" like my favourite buddhist nun, Rengetsu. She had a sign saying," Rengetsu not home". Really she was home in the back making hand built ceramic bowls for the tea ceremony and writing haiku poems on them. I have one in my store and it was one of the first things I found while unpacking.

Of course it is chaotic and I wake up and don't know my way to the bathroom. My cat can't find the way either. The view out the window always surprises me and feels STRANGE. The house still smells like someone elses house. THe flowers keep blooming and they are fantastic. Huge roses.  I am sure I would have like the lady who planted all this. She died but she liked so many things that I always wanted to have. Even the man cave where her husband smoked his cigars.

The big payments are over. I have a new start and no more images of my ex everywhere. This could be a good place I think. Even though change felt just like a nervous breakdown I am so grateful to have the resilience to survive this change. It is moving me somewhere good. I am well past the gates of hope and living in a place of happy endings.  When I first came here, after the narcissist let with the rich heiress, I couldn't get my face off the ground or even envisage hope of any kind. That is good to remember. Many of us were broken by the experience of a narcissist or a psychopath and it left its mark but we survived. Now I know I am one of the few lucky ones.

Lots of love to you Hops, Lighter, TearTracks,  and Gaining Strength. Your thoughts and encouragement are priceless  treasures.

Gaining Strength:
I'm so touched, so encouraged, so bolstered by your story, your transition. Oh, I did read the first part but the last would not be reassuring or even victory without the first. And though I would wish it in you I am cheering the result.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page