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Daughter in law

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Hopalong:
I vote No Comment, Lupita.

Your son is an adult and you cannot control his relationships. Your job is to be supportive and kind to them both and never criticize his mate. IF he brings it up with you and he asks for your thoughts, give them gently. But only if you are directly asked. (Don't spend time hovering and ready to pounce at an opportunity to tell him what you think of her.)

If he does not, understand that accepting his separateness from you as an adult is a critical transition for you that will affect the rest of your life. Including whether you are a welcome grandmother.

The cliche of "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" might apply.

You can't weed her out of your little family herd and I think if you try to, it will be disastrous.

Good luck...
Hops

Lupita:
Twoapenny,
Thank you so much for your answer. My post was there for several days all alone and nobody cared. You were the first one to have compassion and show some care about a lonely person. Thank you. And, you are right, it is not easy to watch. She snaps her fingers at him. She yells at him and claps when she is in a hurry. Not even a waitress deserves to be treated that way. My son is overly compliant. She tells him "you irritate me so much" and all of that in front of me. She is an N I think with no empathy. She thinks she is the non plus ultra. When my son leaves home he carries many things for work, cables, instruments, etc for the entertainment industry. Nobody helps him. When she leaves the house she gets overly mad if he does not help even though she only needs the pumps for the breast mils. When she cooks, she only cooks for her self and does not let anybody touch her food. My son works hard and he cannot eat the food she cooks.
I like the fact that she is strong and hard worker and a good mother to my baby grand son. I even love the fact that nobody f**k with her. I want her to kick ass but not the one of my son.  At sometimes I think she does not like my son and she hates him. And sometimes I think she hates him because I love him becasue her mother is not as helpful with her as I am with my son and her. I babysit for them all my free time for free plus my full time job and not only ofr them to work but for them to go out and hgave drinks and have fun. But I am getting to the point that I am very frustrated.
Thank you Twopenny. 

Lupita:
BonesMS,
Thank you so much for replying to my post. I was very sad to see that for several days my old friends were they posting about other things and completely ignoring my post. You are right. My son gets mad at me very much for telling him how much I dislike the way he is treated. He says it is OK. I do not think so. But you are right that he gets mad. That make sme sad, depressed, frustrated and concerned.
Thank you again.

Lupita:
Gaining S,
Thank you so much for writing. It is true. I tell him how much it hurts to see it. I say how wonderful she is hard  worker, focused, excellent mother, determined, and maybe my son is a little procrsatinating, and that is why sometimes I get irritated with him too.

I told him it makes me sick of my stomach each time she gets in a rampage of ugliness. He told me, go vomit to your house and come back when you feel better.  of course, he will call me if he needs baby sitting. I baby sit at least four times a week. Had to forget about my dance lessons, and my social life because their work is unpredictable and I always have to cancel. But I love so much that baby that I will do everything I can to be with the baby.

I am being used and abused, at my own will. LOL. I love that baby so much so mcuh so much!!!!!!!!  For me being with the baby is a meditation. He does not critizice, does not need to be impressed, he only cries for milk. I totally feel present with him and forget about my own problems.

The baby is magic to my life.

Lupita:
Light!!!!!!!!!

I miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!

How are you? How are your children?

I think that my DIL has a hole in her heart and she doe snot how to feel it. First she wanted a dog, then a second dog, they a house, then a baby, now she wants another baby, a bigger kitchen, and so much disfunction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Her mother is a total sick twisted individual. You have no idea what they have put me through.

The good thing is that I am imrpoving at my work and my personality so much!!!!!!

Her family is Jerry Springer material. Not that I am a perfect relative, I have my issues, but I do not mistreat people. She does.

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