is this Narcissism from a woman?

[bkkabri]

I am here trying to get my head straight because someone I loved has just walked away from two years like it was nothing.  She is going to be a geriatrics nurse practioner dealing with elderly in nursing home.  This is what she said.

I told her my dad died in my arms and her response to me after two years was its been 7 years when are you going to get over your dad dying?  I told her about this because I needed her to lighten the conversation of her day with the terminology because I dont understand most of it and it was morbid to hear about all these diseases.

She told me she wants to be with a man who is going to make at least as much as she is.  The problem is that I make more right now.

She told me that everything is about me and that she is leaving because I dont beleive in marriage.  I told her that I take marriage seriously because I dont want to get divorsed because I come from that kind of background.  Therefore, I dont beleive in making marriage plans in the first 12 months because I want to really know the person.

I tried dancing with her at a wedding and she just closed down like a piece of wood.  She couldnt even move.

She was always acting fake when we went out and I didnt even know who she was.  It scared me becasue when we left she went back to acting like she was with me all the time.

She doesnt even miss me and she ran off with a guy after two weeks of us breaking up.  She says she is moving forward and not in love, but she knows that I will divorse her because of her job and I dont want to go to pharmeceutical parties because I have to dress up.  Problem is I wear a suit everyday.
She also ruined valentines day, anniversery and Xmas by yelling at me about other women.  She now says she is insecure.  She even made me dress up in a suit for Xmas when everyone else was wearing dress pants and sweater.  
Can anyone advise if this girl has N.  She was perfect the first year and the second was hell.

[bludie]

I'm not qualified to determine whether your girlfriend is/isn't an N. What I can determine from your post is that it sounds as if you're in a lot of emotional pain. Frankly, it smacks of co-dependency.

In learning about N, I am trying to keep the focus on me. At first when I discovered this phenomenon (my counselor mentioned it during therapy)  I went through the checklist of behaviors and said to myself "yep, yep, yep -- that's him -- he has all the behaviors or symptoms of an N." I read with fascination and it helped. But the healing, I think, will come from keeping the focus on me and learning why or how I gave someone else my power; allowed them to emotionally control me; and ultimately hijacked my life. There's a lot there to look at and the only way I'll not repeat this scenario is to acquire some self-knowledge.

Have you read any of the literature or viewed any of the sites suggested on either of the boards? They're full of information and could help you see through your situation.

Best of luck.