my favorite instrument

[Hopalong]

...as long as things like THIS are in the world, I want to be here too:

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?tab=wm#inbox/14a7ec2e733e34aa?projector=1

Happy Whatever's Holy to You, to everyone....

much love,
Hops

[Meh]

that link prompted me to sign into google with a password like gmail account

[Hopalong]

Hmmmm...try this one, and if it doesn't work, just go to YouTube and search "Straight No Chaser O Holy Night - Hershey".

(They have another version too but the Hershey one is, imo, sublime. Transporting. And I'm not conventionally religious. Doesn't matter. Takes me to a place I like going back to over and over and over...crazy how many times I've watched it and it never fails.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKFTgTcPX9c

It's worth it!

love
Hops

[sea storm]

Oh Boy! Those guys are great. I like Rollin in the Deep. Very commercial, weird video though. Such good harmony.
Thanks,
Sea

[Hopalong]

For Rolling in the Deep they were trying to be all MTV or something.

But their singing of O Holy Night --especially Jerome's--gets me every single time.

Magic! I'm not even Christian any more, but it just melts me.

xo
Hops

[sea storm]

What do you mean you aren't Christian anymore??????  The church used to have a big place in your life. With that God too.

Have you changed religions?  It is ok if you are not a Christian of course. It just seems like a very important part of you that slipped away .

I am becoming a Buddhist. It is not a religion but more a philosophy and the channel is direct to the white light, god, goddess all that is.  Seems like all religions are about loving each other, knowing oneself and being kind. Some kind of spiritual path seems very necessary to me personally.

Good night dear Hops,

Sea

[Hopalong]

The church used to have a big place in your life. With that God too.

Nope, I'm not Christian, since 1970ish. I had real, childhood faith and direct experiences of love associated with Jesus. But it wasn't "belief," it was willingness and yearning for love. "The church" I've often referred to is this one, which is not Christian (though historically it was it evolved into a NON-CREEDAL church). Religion fell apart for me when I realized it was about special clubs.

I do not "believe in" God. I am profoundly agnostic. At the same time I occasionally in private use the G-word. But that doesn't mean "belief" -- it means "this describes the oceanic hope I'm expressing as best I can for this moment." (Pathetic but that's my version of prayer for now.)

What faith I have is in love and in nature. I think human language is entirely inadequate, cannot stand the idea of making any human texts "sacred" (they are WORDS which are by definition not realities) and that the Great Mystery of Meaning is never, ever going to be answered in a church or a book.

I care a lot about my church but it's mainly because I have no family and this group of people are like an extended family to me. I'm less enthused lately because the minister we have now pushes a lot of negative buttons for me (but that's also allowing me to work on how I react...etc.). Most of my local friendships arise from this community as well). I host a 2x/month women's group at my home that I love doing. But I'm beginning for the first time to give my church the stink-eye as a religious institution.

Won't stop going but I go a lot less. I'm a lifer there, though. I need it. And there is some joy in belonging to a community.

love
Hops

[sea storm]

Somehow I assumed that  you were religious. Partly because you strive forward like a soldier of something.

Your church must be interesting if you can be an agnostic and go public about it.  that kind of broadmindedness is hard to find and precious.
The greatness and amazing magic of the world is overwhelmingly beautiful, horrible and often fills me with awe. Nevertheless, it is not attached to Mr god and all that. what I find helpful is when a problem is overwhelming to surrender and give it up to a higher powerr. Any higher power at all.  To the sky, the sea, wind in the trees, your friends. Don't be alone in it.

Thanks for sharing your spiritual beliefs.

Sea

[Hopalong]

I love your description of a higher power. Thanks, Sea.

And what it is, is a non-creedal denomination called Unitarian Universalism. This site explains it: www.uua.org.

We have plenty of agnostics, some atheists, secualar humanists, Christians (by their own lights--they have special meetings on their own but also worship with the congregation), Buddhists, a Sikh (he's also the mayor), and loads of EX-MethoBapCathPresbyEpiscoterians...iow, anythings.

We have been called the Church of the Question Mark, the Church of the Potluck Supper, etc.

 

Hops

[sea storm]

Hi Hops


I never tire of your name. It makes me think of bunnies hopping along happily in the grass or of Hopalong Cassidy riding so expertly while he twirls his lariat. There is only one Hopalong.

I like the idea of the church of pot luck dinners.  I have a group on my street that meet twice a month. Once for dinner at a restaurant and once at someone's house. There are 8-10 who show up each time. It would be hard to expand the group as we all have pretty small houses, probably 1100 square feet. The people who go to the restaurent are called " The Newcomers Club" but most have been in the group for over 10 years. I have been going ever since I moved here last July. I am so glad I have this community. It is not churchy but more based on kindness, listening, helping each other. Also nosiness, opera, and drinking. Ah well, you can't have everything.

By opera i mean they go opera occasionally. As if they are bursting into an aria. This is when there is heavy drinking. I am not used to this anymore as I don't drink. For health reasons etc.  It has taken months for the group to build enough trust for this. At the last dinner one man said that his father was shot during the Hungarian Uprising, another said his father committed suicide and then his mom became an alcoholic,  another woman said that she felt suicidal in January when she had to ask her 25 year old seriously alcoholic son to leave and go to a shelter.  This was after an evening of laughing, good home made food, good talking. She works in child apprehension and is working six days a week and burned out.  When she told the group this their reaction was strange ( to me). There she had found her voice and explained through tears her deep sadness about her son and her feelings of being overwhelmed by her job.  People just pretended she hadn't said anything or continued talking about how to care for orchids. She actually stood up and said her say. One guy said that his father committed suicide and then the other guy said his father was shot when he was eight,.

I went over to the woman and put my hand on her shoulder and told her she was brave to speak her truth. Next day I phoned her and asked her to come over and we talked about what she had said. I asked her if she had support and went into crisis counseling mode. Right now i feel like the neighbourhood confessor. This is not what I want but who knows what I am here for. They are showing me things I didn't know before and I guess i am showing them a way of being with feelings they are not used to. They are probably as nervous about me as I am about them.  Everyone has a story and I really believe they need to find their voice and be listened to by someone who cares.

Nobody said it was easy

Love,
Sea storm

[Hopalong]

Oh gosh, Sea.
What a moving description of survivors who washed ashore at similar times and are making their own shelter...there may be gaps in the driftwood but it has weathered beauty. I felt the reality of the shelter they find in each other. It sounds like a group I'd enjoy a lot, especially the opera.

As to you, if you keep an eye on your well-being and remember that creating and kindly asserting good boundaries for yourself will keep you well. Well enough to be in your own compassionate castle, with enough energy left to invite another soul across the drawbridge now and then.

But don't be the therapist i you don't want to. It's not the only default. You don't have to let your kind heart move you straight into rescue mode. You can listen warmly but still with some lightness of heart, even detachment, to keep you and them safe. One-way friendships don't work out very well, and you deserve healthy relationships.

It's taken a long time for me to learn to enjoy light, non-intense connections with people, too.

love
Hops

[Meh]

....Hopalong Cassidy was before my time, I will take your word for it....


   

[Hopalong]

What I guess I like about it is the sound-humor of the word itself.
It acquires some "dash" next to "Cassidy" but on balance, it's absurd.

I like the word's rollicking gentle goofiness, I think.

Maybe I have an inner bunny wabbit crossed with an imaginary hero.

Ha!

Hops

[Worn]

Hearing the two of you talk about your beliefs warms my heart.  I also hold my own "ocean of hope".  

I love how you've both talked about being part of a community.  I am currently working towards taking the steps to have that in my life.  Our local UU church is one of the communities I'm considering joining.  I've realized that I have become cut off from almost any sense of a community for a long time.  I have friendships, but they are scattered here and there and I want the feeling of a group coming together in fellowship.  A group working together towards a goal.  Being part of a team.  Belonging with people.  

I was thinking just recently about how healthy boundaries not only keep harmful things out, they also allow good things to come in.  

Sea, I second Hops vote on you not being required to be the neighborhood therapist.  That is above your pay grade.  Worn


Edit:  I'm not saying you aren't capable Sea!  Just that they don't pay you enough to do it.   

[sea storm]

really great to read your responses. The group is a bit too dark for me. They get bombed and reveal all this stuff and then when they sober up they are shut down completely and masks are up again. Wouldn't it be great if they could open up a bit if they were sober.
There is some dynamic where they resent me not drinking.  I can't drink for health reasons but it gets them triggered and saying" oh I am not an alcoholic". As if I am the judge of that or would want to be.
I remember not being able to open up without a drink. Or five. It seemed incomprehensible to me to not drink if I wanted to have a good conversation.

Also I don't have good boundaries. I end up being the confessor for them. I don' t want to be in that role and you are right the cost is too high. I actually like to have fun and play occasionally. I probably need to join a church or something but it is such a small town and there is not much choice. Mostly pretty right wingish. I sound like a snob.