Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Honest Do You Think I Should Be?
Meh:
:)
C'est la vie
On-line dating can be ughhhh.
I have a photo up on okcupid and guys will msg me, their profile has one photo and they are wearing sunglasses. To me that sort of shows that they are exhibiting ignorance because who posts a photo wearing sunglasses. I cant see your eyes FOOL!!!
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on September 15, 2015, 09:49:38 PM ---:)
C'est la vie
On-line dating can be ughhhh.
I have a photo up on okcupid and guys will msg me, their profile has one photo and they are wearing sunglasses. To me that sort of shows that they are exhibiting ignorance because who posts a photo wearing sunglasses. I cant see your eyes FOOL!!!
--- End quote ---
Ha ha, G, yep, I've seen guys in their forties who are quite clearly putting up pictures of themselves much younger, just the hairstyles and clothes give it away, never mind the lack of wrinkles and grey hair. I put on my profile that I'm happy to be getting older and don't fret about the ageing process, just trying to show that I'm focused on more important things these days than how I look or what my hair is like and I got loads of emails from blokes twenty years older who obviously took that to mean I'm happy to date people old enough to be my dad :) Funny, isn't it.
Anyway, after freaking out completely and having a horrible day yesterday I had a moment of clarity and I did email and just told him the truth for my own sake, without worrying about anyone else's reaction. I realised I am tired of tiptoeing around the fact that I was ABUSED, yes, it happened, yes, it affected me and yes, it's still a problem at times, it's a huge part of my life. And I just wondered why we've created this society where we don't talk about this sort of thing openly and it's hushed up and why have I spent twenty years making excuses for my hang ups and odd behaviour when I could have just said, "This happened and it screwed me up". Weird, isn't it? Anyway, sent the email, slept for ten hours and woke up this morning feeling great! Might actually go out today and have a go at talking to a real man rather than tapping on a screen, just to show myself that the world won't end if I say hello to someone I don't know. I hope you get some pics without sunglasses through, G, it seems so funny to me that people do that :)
Meh:
:) Well you took action that is probably all that matters really.
Okay Cupid has advertisements for lip stick and ky jelly lol its kind of seedy. heheheh
Hopalong:
Well, I've got a different thought. Doesn't mean it's a useful thought though!
I am thinking that rather than run screaming from this man-with-same-name-as-hideous-abuser-stepfather and renounce all men forthwith...
you deserve to OPEN UP your life and not let that f***ing stepfather own ONE MORE MOMENT of your precious birthright to happiness.
So I advocate, telling the nice-man-with-unfortunate-name--"This is hard to mention, but I had an abusive stepdad who shares your name.
Would it be okay if I called you...Billy?" (Or any ordinary nickname for his name.)
Then keep seeing him. And don't give up on the male half of the human race, most of whom bear zero resemblance to that a**h***.
Make any sense?
love,
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on September 16, 2015, 06:05:57 PM ---:) Well you took action that is probably all that matters really.
Okay Cupid has advertisements for lip stick and ky jelly lol its kind of seedy. heheheh
--- End quote ---
Eeew that is gross :) Not that those items aren't handy, obviously, but yeah, it does just make you think knocking shop rather than romantic attachment :)
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