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PR's new saga...

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Hopalong:
Oh, hon. I'm so sorry. I can visualize how exhausting and draining this is...with so little time for you to tend to Inner You.

Pneumonia has always been called "the old man's friend."

I know your hubby isn't old, but does he want all invasive treatments at this point?

Home with hospice comfort treatment (palliative care), and with pneumonia, would be such a gentler way to go.

Have you talked to hospice yet? Or asked Hubs or doctors about it?

love to you,
Hops

lighter:
Amber.... so sorry to hear M is getting weaker.

I can't imagine how difficult that is for both of you. 

If you're having trouble talking to M about Hospice, bc it sounds scarier than he's ready to face, then maybe he can be evaluated without using the word HOSPICE?

The nurse can just be another nurse to help you out?

Does M have IV fluids going right now?  If not, that may be a major cause with lack of energy.  It certainly was for my Mom. 

Careful attention has to be paid to the lungs, watching for fluid build up, but it was night and day difference in quality of life for Mom, not life sustaining.  Just life improving comfort, and the ability to be present, which was so important to Mom.  She was very busy up to the last.  She had her sense of humor to the end, and we all valued that time together.

You already know about the calming creams, and oral pain meds likely so won't talk about that.  They were such a comfort to have on hand, bc we didn't know what we'd need hour by hour.

((((Amber and family))))  Whatever you do,  you'll make sure it's the very best choice for M, I know.

Lighter

Meh:
Wow this has all evolved so quickly.  Now he has the feeding tube going on.   :(   

It sounds like you are doing the best you can do with the resources you have near you.

It's too bad they couldn't do an alternative procedure locally for diagnosing the pneumonia.

Well I think the standard that I have heard of for a healthy person is to take medication for one to two weeks for pneumonia.

Since he is unwell perhaps it would take four weeks to get over the pneumonia if he is medicated for it. Hopefully it won't be a very long infection.
I don't really know but I would think doctors should be able to give some standard guidelines for how long all of this is going to take.

I wonder if he is allowed to have acidophilus in with his food. In theory it could help with thrush



 

sKePTiKal:
Well, Amazons... it's all over.

He started coughing, I sat him up in bed and tried to get him to spit out whatever he was coughing up - and then he vomited the last 3 feedings everywhere. In the process, he started taking very long slow deep breaths... and I ran for the phone to call 911. EMS was here in about 10 minutes, but he'd already stopped breathing. They labored over him for 20 minutes, because when they asked for health POA, I handed them mine instead of his.

It was unexpected; wasn't a thing anyone could've done; and in a way - I'm relieved that his struggle is over and he doesn't have to face the additional invasiveness of more medical "intervention" in the natural ending of life. I'm really sad that - for whatever reason not communicated to me - he didn't accept that he was ill, and seriously, a long time ago. But we can't decide those things for other people.

The girls will be here later today; Autumn wants to see her Dad one last time and I'm trying to give that to myself as well. I normally avoid that particular abyss of emotion - of poking myself in the eye with a hot iron - of "grief rituals". It was hard enough putting his childhood teddy bear away that I got out for him a couple of days ago. But I knew better than to leave it where I could see it. I did see him during the whole process of trying to revive him, until they brought out a bone drill. But I knew that he was beyond retrieval at that point. I was holding him when the door opened and whoosh... he went on through it.

Today, I get the bunny hat out. Once my crew gets here, takes over, and I can "stand down". Would it be silly to wear it when I meet with the funeral home people?  ;)   It's REALLY tempting, since I've answered the question: are you alright about 50 million times already... and I know that onslaught isn't over. I've had months to realize and emotionally accept how this situation was going to end. I already kind of "knew" that he would be leaving over the past couple of years, watching his stamina decline. I was starting to work on increasing mine and couldn't convince him to do the same, doing things that were enjoyable for him. We are all different, after all.

He got me the bunny hat during the whole Amy debacle a couple of years ago. It meant that I couldn't talk, just cry; and there wasn't anything anyone could do except let me do my thing until I stopped. It was a signal, non-verbal sign... like he always wanted from me, to know when it was "safe" to talk... sigh. I never could get him to understand how my attention splits, and a 3rd thing just causes my brain to reboot... which registers on the lizard brain as a "threat"... oh well.

Dr. Richard Grossman:
Dear PR,

You managed the unmanageable as well as anyone could.  Know that you are in my thoughts.

Hugs,

Richard

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