Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Learning, Growing, Changing, Moving on, Moving Forward
Twoapenny:
This is becoming a bit of a stream of consciousness for me but I find it helps to write things down as they pop into my head :)
Someone popped round to see us this afternoon and I appreciate the effort he's made to do so, but it made me realise that what I really crave in my life are people who have hopes and dreams and who are interested in my hopes and dreams as well. I seem to know a lot of people who are just sort of sitting - they've no desire for anything to change really, or any big sort of dreams and ambitions they want to fulfill - they're not working towards something and I always feel like I'm trying to head somewhere (not that I always know where, mind you!) and I really want to be around people who are enthusiastic about my hopes and dreams, rather than people who are disinterested or negative about them. The person who popped round this afternoon told me a couple of weeks ago that he'd done enough travelling and now he was just sort of waiting to die - he's not even forty yet. And that made me feel so sad, it's exactly the sort of life I don't want, where nothing changes, nothing happens. There's still so much I want to do and I feel like I've had to delay things in order to sort my self out and get myself to a place where I could manage life instead of ricocheting through it.
On a slightly more practical note, there is a flat I've seen online, just posted today, looks like the right sort of place for us so fingers crossed we can go and have a look next week and maybe it will be the one :)
Twoapenny:
I've realised I've mostly surrounded myself with people who are unhappy. For whatever reason that may be, although outwardly some are successful, at the core many of them aren't happy people. I'm not entirely sure why I've done this. I know it's not been intentional but it is the situation I've ended up in somehow. And I think that's why so many of them moan and complain a lot and just aren't generally great company. Perhaps it's an aspect of myself I recognised and wanted to see in others, or perhaps I just take on waifs, strays and underdogs. Maybe it's still co-dependency, or a need to be liked or to be seen as a good person. I'm not sure. Will think on it more.
In other news, only one room left to decorate. It is the biggest and most cluttered room - I've saved the worst for last! But will start getting on with it today, have been clearing out more stuff we don't need and took a load of things to the charity shop yesterday, have more to go today.
Hopalong:
I just heard an unexpected quote on a daffy tv show,
wanted to share it.
Blood's thicker than water but love's thicker than blood.
What a better way of explaining PHamily.
Tupp, may you find love wherever you go.
love,
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Hey Tupp... I totally relate to the always busy, to only stand still. My hubs was the total opposite - and even wore his "laziness" as he called as a brownie point or badge of "suthern honor". But when the laziness turned into not feeling well...
On my side of the spectrum, I started using 2x2 post it notes: my "list" for a day to fit on that post-it (and it had to be legible, too!). So, only 3-5 things "to-do" -- outside of the normal housework chores of living.
Now, even that plan is evolving. Part of my day is spent doing one or two paperwork things. And then, the rest is spent on physical work - either the sorting, organizing, purging or outdoor clean up. (Depending on the weather.) Immersion into one or the other to the exclusion (that day) of the other kind of "work"... feels wrong; so doing a little of both is helping me feel like I'm not neglecting one or the other categories.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on January 19, 2016, 04:05:33 AM ---I just heard an unexpected quote on a daffy tv show,
wanted to share it.
Blood's thicker than water but love's thicker than blood.
What a better way of explaining PHamily.
Tupp, may you find love wherever you go.
love,
Hops
--- End quote ---
Aw thank you, Hops, I wish the same for you! I do feel ready to receive which I haven't done for such a long time. I'm looking forward to just feeling like there's a chance again, you know? I haven't felt that way for so long now, it just feels nice to think that in a couple of months time I might be writing some nice posts about good things going on :) xx
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