Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Job Hunt -- what it takes
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on December 30, 2015, 11:18:20 PM ---Thank you SO much, guys! I can't tell you how it feels to log in here after an endurance test like this and hear your encouraging thoughts, and knowing you cared enough to sit down and type those words. I am truly grateful. My saga ain't over but if you can bear it, I'll keep on sharing the steps. Here's my trip report:
I've got an initial assignment freelancing, but I think it might lead to a larger position. He doesn't think "creativity has a home" which means, with some travel, I probably wouldn't have to move.
If I negotiated a FT large-enough salary (pie in $ky) I'd even consider moving anyway for a couple years. Live frugally (it's in coastal foothills but rent is high) and hope a friend or two would come for vacations. Also negotiate regular home periods.
I'd be much happier consulting from where I live now though, and think that'd be fine with him. Though less secure than FT salary.
Anyway, no telling. But I can do what he's thinking about and he is honest. And maybe because he's older than I am, he didn't hit me with ageism. Or sexism. (The opposite of the monster Nboss tried to depict him as...projection much? This man appears passionate about integrity and the difference is, doesn't seem to be pretending.)
My take was that I have skills he needs and he realized it. He pulled in key people to our afternoon mtg and said "This is a gap in our company and she has the knowledge to fill it." He didn't commit to a big huge position and I'd have to prove myself on this first project...but if I do, I think there could be something real there.
One of the most significant things is that at half his company's size, my old company has twice the dealers. And I started that, set the tone and created the template.
Promising start anyway. Thanks for listening to the blow by blow--more than you know!
Love and gotta get up at 415AM (mooooooooaaaaannnnn) for my flight...
Hops
--- End quote ---
Hops I am so, so happy to read this, and so glad that you have managed to not only get that hideous boss out of your life but you've manifested this other chap who sees you for the wonderful person that you are and appreciates and acknowledges your skills and experience. What a feeling it will be to deal with a proper grown up who doesn't have some bizarre, twisted agenda going on. Looking forward to reading more about this :) xx
sKePTiKal:
That sounds really, really, really good Hops.
No instantaneous, huge change to your life or location. A chance to "get to know you" and shake the residual yuck from nboss off - while discovering the joys of working with sane people. Kinda sounds perfect, to be honest.
Those cross-country flights are awful though. Just being in that pressurized environment for so long bothers me - to say nothing of lack of boundaries & personal space, with all those people. I don't envy you that. But if it doesn't bother you, then I'd say you landed on all four feet in a bed of daisies. Can't ask for better.
THAT is the best revenge, after all. ;)
sea storm:
whew WHAT A RELIEF. You did it. Even though you were scared you friggin well climbed that mountain. Inspiration for us all. Things fell into place in a pretty smooth way. Boss not fixated on why you left but more on how you can be of service to his company.
I worked for seven years in a place where the boss micromanaged me into a faded version of myself that was on the brink of disappearing. One day, after going to the doctor and hearing that my blood pressure was dangerously high and he said wisely Consider this your last day in the job, I left. I thought that was impossible. I didn't care about employment insurance or anything. Pretty impulsive. Next day I was not so confident. My friend told me to get medical unemployment benefits, which I had not considered. I went there and told them about how my boss had basically humiliated me and treated me with less than respect. I was so surprised to hear that they hear that story often enough to know that it is real and I got medical employment benefits for stress. I went to the doctor and he confirmed that I was stressed and there it was.
I realized that I had forgotten all about that. Sometimes life has to just shake you like a ragdoll to get one to move along.
So I went from being a rehab counsellor in a program for people with severe disabilities to......... looking for jobs in the New Hebrides. While checking in the Toronto paper, I came across a job in Tofino working with children with severe disabilities. The jobs had commonalities but were very different. And I relocated to Tofino, a little fishing town, from a big city, Victoria. I think I had the most interesting teaching job imaginable. I got to go to work in a speedboat, work with Native people, work counseling little kids.
My point after all that is that it is impossible to control what comes next. You have prepared the field with all your experience and skills and now you have gotten on the fast train to change. SOOOOOOOOO brave of you. But also wise. I often thought that you might be able to tough it out in the old job but your health might go. Typing those honest statements about your boss was unconsciously reaching for a life preserver. That is just what I think.
I read somewhere that if an employee sues their boss for wrongful dismissal, they rarely lose. I had not realized that. Have a snit fit or telling your boss off is not reasonable grounds for dismissal. Employee and employer having a snit fit doesn't mean he gets to throw you out on the street. Just does not make sense. Only your high standards of human communication have made you think it was such a catastrophe. As for the boss, what a weinee for terminating a good employee. He could have said,|Madame, I am curious why such a person as yourself would think glorious me is such a .............. But to fire you, boy that was dramatic and impulsive.
I think you have some leverage or whatever in the wrongful dismissal department and right now you feel a bit worthless and are in a bit of a shame spriral about getting fired. However, old bossie boy doesn't get to fire someone because he is offended. That is ridiculous.
Yuck, I don't want to spend time in HIS head. Glad you won't have to either.
You are wonderful.
Lots of love,
Sea storm
teartracks:
Oh Hops! You made my day. I'm so happy for you. What a nice (all around) platform from which to launch!
I like it that you sensed integrity in the new CEO. That's everything!
I hope you get a good rest before the next test comes along and CONGRATULATIONS, HORNS TOOTIN, AND LOTS OF CONFETTI!
tt
sea storm:
Yooooooooou Hooooooo
Are you there? Hiding away under a blanket, watching hours of CSI, eating copious bowls of ice cream????? You have been through a lot!!!
Standing by,
Sea
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