Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Job Hunt -- what it takes
Hopalong:
Thanks, (((((((((((PR))))))))))))).
Fly I did. Looooooooooong trip but I'm tucked up in a hotel with an afternoon to laze away.
I'm trying to be open to good things happening, rather than focusing on fears.
I can do this! Uhhh....whatever "this" is. If it's not going to be because of this meeting, I'll find
something else.
Getting away helps me see my life at a remove. How stuck and shrunken I'd let it become. How
much I'd let go of hopes for my health and discovery. Poo on that.
I got some advice via a lawyer pal who asked an employment specialist attorney she's friends with,
who told her it's very very unlikely I can be denied unemployment regardless of having been "written up"
because the reason Nboss STATED was "restructuring." And that's a reason one does qualify. Whew.
That means I can turn down his severance pay along with the "don't ever say anything negative" clause.
Which is worth a slight short-term financial loss because it means he has no power over me again, ever.
(The idea of going into the future looking over my shoulder at his vindictive iNtent would be awful...)
Amazing to think of him receding from my mind and my life. And kind of ghastly to realize how toxic it was.
love
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on December 29, 2015, 05:15:25 PM ---Thanks, (((((((((((PR))))))))))))).
Fly I did. Looooooooooong trip but I'm tucked up in a hotel with an afternoon to laze away.
I'm trying to be open to good things happening, rather than focusing on fears.
I can do this! Uhhh....whatever "this" is. If it's not going to be because of this meeting, I'll find
something else.
Getting away helps me see my life at a remove. How stuck and shrunken I'd let it become. How
much I'd let go of hopes for my health and discovery. Poo on that.
I got some advice via a lawyer pal who asked an employment specialist attorney she's friends with,
who told her it's very very unlikely I can be denied unemployment regardless of having been "written up"
because the reason Nboss STATED was "restructuring." And that's a reason one does qualify. Whew.
That means I can turn down his severance pay along with the "don't ever say anything negative" clause.
Which is worth a slight short-term financial loss because it means he has no power over me again, ever.
(The idea of going into the future looking over my shoulder at his vindictive iNtent would be awful...)
Amazing to think of him receding from my mind and my life. And kind of ghastly to realize how toxic it was.
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
Hops, I'm rootin' for ya! Reading through your thread I think the amazing thing has already happened - you shed that horrible nasty man and I think that's the bit that's worth its weight in gold anyway. I'm so glad you can tell him to stick his money as well - being able to say no is an amazingly empowering thing. Being so desperate that you can't is an awful position to be in but having enough that you can do what you need to without someone else having power - truly priceless ;) xx
sKePTiKal:
--- Quote ---Getting away helps me see my life at a remove. How stuck and shrunken I'd let it become. How
much I'd let go of hopes for my health and discovery. Poo on that.
--- End quote ---
Funny how we can let the routine of our lives and the requirements to live just push out the idea that there is always active, dynamic life, all around us, just waiting to be danced with - either for the first time, or again - as someone aptly reminded me. LOL ;)
I've always liked a change of "scenery" for being able to see what I let myself become. Remember Sunday drives? The whole family would just go galavanting. Maybe take a picnic somewhere; go fishing; or visiting - or just a round trip, with a few stops for food and potty breaks. That seems like a good thing to repopularize.
lighter:
Whoo hoo! Good news about collecting unemployment benefits is a relief.
Not having to sign anything Nboss writes is absolutely priceless.
He'd jerk you around for years through the courts.... it's what he is. He couldn't help himself, IME.
Be confident, Hops. Don't touch your face.... travel and stress make it too easy to get sick. Use hand sanitizer often.
Stay hydrated too.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Thank you SO much, guys! I can't tell you how it feels to log in here after an endurance test like this and hear your encouraging thoughts, and knowing you cared enough to sit down and type those words. I am truly grateful. My saga ain't over but if you can bear it, I'll keep on sharing the steps. Here's my trip report:
I've got an initial assignment freelancing, but I think it might lead to a larger position. He doesn't think "creativity has a home" which means, with some travel, I probably wouldn't have to move.
If I negotiated a FT large-enough salary (pie in $ky) I'd even consider moving anyway for a couple years. Live frugally (it's in coastal foothills but rent is high) and hope a friend or two would come for vacations. Also negotiate regular home periods.
I'd be much happier consulting from where I live now though, and think that'd be fine with him. Though less secure than FT salary.
Anyway, no telling. But I can do what he's thinking about and he is honest. And maybe because he's older than I am, he didn't hit me with ageism. Or sexism. (The opposite of the monster Nboss tried to depict him as...projection much? This man appears passionate about integrity and the difference is, doesn't seem to be pretending.)
My take was that I have skills he needs and he realized it. He pulled in key people to our afternoon mtg and said "This is a gap in our company and she has the knowledge to fill it." He didn't commit to a big huge position and I'd have to prove myself on this first project...but if I do, I think there could be something real there.
One of the most significant things is that at half his company's size, my old company has twice the dealers. And I started that, set the tone and created the template.
Promising start anyway. Thanks for listening to the blow by blow--more than you know!
Love and gotta get up at 415AM (mooooooooaaaaannnnn) for my flight...
Hops
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