Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Random Writing, do I have writer's block...? - ? + ? X ?
Meh:
I've pretty much never dating my whole life apart from like A VERY short round of it in my mid 20's, I guess it was due to perhaps a higher self esteem and maybe some self-delusion.
Now I'm in my late 30's believe it or not. " "Extremely "insecure" " I don't know, over quoting because maybe the insecurity is justified.
I'm very lonely, used to it as normal. I'm a little sad that I am more comfortable being lonely and alone as compared to being faced with meeting new people and facing basically rejection. Or just a different level of fear. i think I fear that strangers will confirm that I am not worthy of being loved or something like that, I'm probably not explaining it well.
I've been spending time on a dating site. Some guys have asked me out on a date, I'm not too excited. I should feel excited right!?!?! Yeah I should.
So I look at dating profiles and then I don't go on dates, it's really sucking energy and wasting time but at its core maybe I really do want to meet somebody.
I've been chatting with some guy who lives in Finland which is nuts because I'm not going there, we are not compatible yet we chat a lot. Obviously I need to move beyond chatting with guys in foreign countries, how more removed could I possibly be?
Meh:
Having a beer and a salad, Wishing there was more time in a day.
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