Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
What gives you your sense of self worth
Hopalong:
Makes sense, Tupp.
Sheer tiredness makes me feel that way, also.
I don't know if you'll experience this but for me
when the adrenalin of a move wears off there's quite
a short-term, temporary crash. And a lot of extra
sleep for quite a while is very helpful...suspended in rest, you
heal from move stress. (Shrinks say even GOOD
moves stress the psyche a ton.)
Might help to be prepared for when/if the mood lowers and draw
no conclusions about YOU, because it's just biology. And it will
pass. It will.
Sending tea and hugs--
Hops
Twoapenny:
Hi Hopsie, thank you!
Yes have definitely hit the post move wall, was so worn out over the weekend we didn't do much at all and my bed has never looked so inviting :) Felt a bit perkier today, we are very lucky that we don't have any big major thing coming up now (except for Christmas, which isn't very big for us anyway) so we can have lots of rest and some nice days out and walks around the place. I think we'll just take it easy now until the New Year, adjust a bit and get used to being here (it's still so quiet and there's less light pollution so the stars look amazing). It is nice not to be constantly thinking "oh my god, when will we get out of here". We were on our way home earlier and I realised I was actually looking forward to getting back in here, I always used to dread going home so that was nice :)
Twoapenny:
I'm feeling much more rested, relaxed and happy now, but I am also keeping watch on myself because I'm feeling "we don't deserve this" creeping in and I don't want to mess this up! It really is a gift from the gods - a nice flat, long lease, nice village, much easier practically and a lot more going on that we can get involved in. And I can feel myself feeling we don't deserve all of that so I am working very hard to focus on feeling grateful (which I am, enormously) and telling myself that we do deserve this nice place that has come into our lives.
I've also realised I feel very anxious about putting myself into new situations and meeting new people so I am going to write a list of all the things I'd like to get involved in locally and all the places I'd like to go to and try and take a step towards doing one of those things each day.
Hopalong:
You were BORN deserving a safe place to be, peaceful surroundings, and kind humans.
Just remember not to fantasize or expect imagined huge-correctives-to-the-past things from people.
Just look for gentleness, basics of kindness, impulses to cooperate and folks who are welcoming. Be aware that
you deserve goodness, decency, patience--especially from you toward you. And that if you offer friendship,
say once in three tries, you'll likely find it. (The other two? Don't mean anything. Just that they didn't
have the same need at the same time....)
All will be well. This isn't a test you have to pass. You're already here. A resident just like
other residents. You SO deserve this good home.
Have faith that you live in peace now.
Time to risk feeling some contentment.
In the present moment, all those present moments. Enjoy each one of them, they mount up
and change you toward peace.
love
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on November 26, 2016, 03:55:32 PM ---You were BORN deserving a safe place to be, peaceful surroundings, and kind humans.
Just remember not to fantasize or expect imagined huge-correctives-to-the-past things from people.
Just look for gentleness, basics of kindness, impulses to cooperate and folks who are welcoming. Be aware that
you deserve goodness, decency, patience--especially from you toward you. And that if you offer friendship,
say once in three tries, you'll likely find it. (The other two? Don't mean anything. Just that they didn't
have the same need at the same time....)
All will be well. This isn't a test you have to pass. You're already here. A resident just like
other residents. You SO deserve this good home.
Have faith that you live in peace now.
Time to risk feeling some contentment.
In the present moment, all those present moments. Enjoy each one of them, they mount up
and change you toward peace.
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
Sound advice and words of wisdom as always, Hopsie - thank you :)
I am trying to just focus on right now. My mind wanders but I try to bring it back. We went for a walk this morning - people around here are friendly. We chatted to a guy who was walking his dog, a young girl that works in the shop (we treated ourselves to a doughnut :) ), said good morning to people as we walked past them. I'm going to try and pluck up the courage to go to the pub one day this week - during the day, during the week, when it will be quiet, just pop in for half an hour and have an orange juice and a chat.
My son's energy seems to have improved? Which is good, might just be coincidence, might be something to do with the new environment.
It's funny but when I read your job thread and you said something about trying not to have to high an expectation regarding the job I realised that that's been a problem for me - I go into every situation with an expectation (and usually a very high one) and it doesn't usually go the way I thought it would. So I'm going to try and stop doing that - just make the aim to get through the door of the pub, for example, rather than imagining I'll come out with a dozen new friends. It is really lovely not feeling constricted by gossipy neighbours or knowing my mum is across the road (and she doesn't even know I've moved yet - how funny is that? :) ). But it all feels good - just wobbling and conscious of not wanting to wobble and sabotage myself. I like the idea of focusing on people who show kindness, co-operation etc. A really good place to focus and to think about. Thank you :) x
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