Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
What gives you your sense of self worth
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: GRITS on July 03, 2016, 06:17:24 PM ---
--- Quote ---Every time you hear those nasty self-hating, self-sabotaging thoughts or they swim to your awareness, actually say out loud (and MEAN IT): "STOP!"
--- End quote ---
I have those kinds of thoughts about myself AND occasionally nasty thoughts about others. Strange how I have far more nasty thoughts about myself than others! I heard someone suggest this solution, "Get another thought". So my approach lately has been to remind myself to get another thought. I, also, think it's critical to think in present future, not present past and see myself becoming, overcoming & living whole and well.
--- End quote ---
Hi Grits,
Yes, that's very true. I remember talking to a therapist once that I felt I was thinking in triplicate - I'd have the old, negative, critical thought, then realise I was doing it and have a thought about not doing it, then a third thought to try and change it to something more positive. It's hard work, especially when you're getting on with your day to day stuff and trying to juggle many things, as most of us do. I am trying to be more positive and active in my thinking but I find that much easier when I'm alone and I think that's where I'm a bit stuck at the minute; I want to connect to the real world more but I find it disrupts my bubble!
Twoapenny:
Law Of Attraction - I have struggled with this for years.
I first read about positive thinking and the power of the mind type stuff when I was pregnant with my son and struggling with depression (and my mother!). I remember being horrified when I realised how much of what I talked about was gossip or critical, nasty comments about people. I was equally horrified when I realised that, if I didn't indulge in gossip or nasty comments about people with my mother, then we had absolutely nothing to talk about.
I have frequently and repeatedly read yet another book about asking the Universe for what you want and it being delivered in your lap, and have read story after story of people achieving great successes and huge wealth because they practised this regularly. But I never really seemed to get the hang of it and I often seemed to attract bad luck rather than good, even when trying really hard to be upbeat and positive.
I've also struggled to understand how bad things happen when you're not thinking about them or even aware they are possible (as the Law of Attraction theory is that you pull every experience to you with your thoughts and vibrations). Why is it babies are neglected and starved, or children bombed, young girls married off to old men, so many awful things that you hear about. They wouldn't be aware enough to think about that, so I've never really understood. Equally things that have happened to me - a social worker fabricating a case against me, for example - I'd never have dreamed that sort of thing went on so I've never really been able to understand how I drew that experience to me.
Anyway - I have been trying really, really hard to stop the negative thoughts and to concentrate on feeling thankful for what I have and to try and stop my mind from wandering into the dark places it sometimes goes to. Apart from the fact the sun is shining today (which is very lovely), we went to the library and the librarian gave me a book - to keep - free of charge - because I'm a good customer. And when I got home I had an email from a lady who I know very casually who heard me saying that I'd had to cancel our plans to go away because our van has cost so much to do up that I can't really afford it - and not only has she offered me her holiday home, free of charge, but it's only half an hour away from where my friends live! So now it's looking like we can go off looking at colleges for my son for a few days and then go and have a lovely relaxing break near my friends.
All in all it's been a very nice day!
Hopalong:
Wow. What an extraordinary gift from that woman...Tupp, that is just FANTASTIC. (Leaping cartwheels for you.) What a joyful thing to read. A gift from life.
...more cartwheels...
About the Law of Attraction--I'm not a fan because it confuses people about how to improve their lives. See what you think of this summary: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction .
Or, google "why the law of attraction is bullshit" if you want to see a lot of writing about it from the critical side.
The key thing is its confusing mix of beneficial and toxic. It hurts people in the end, although parts of it are also parts of healing and sane practices. Hard to sort out. Better, imn-ho, to simplify. Find a ritual for compassion and self-love, and keep at it. Find 3-D groups/activities that feel meaningful or happy and lift you up.
Dream less and do more. (Preaching to self...)
hugs
Hops
PS--You cannot "fail" at following the "Law of Attraction" because it's not a law. It's a setup. And that would be your inner critical voice scolding you for not "doing it right" -- right? Snap! STOP! :)
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on July 05, 2016, 12:19:37 PM ---Wow. What an extraordinary gift from that woman...Tupp, that is just FANTASTIC. (Leaping cartwheels for you.) What a joyful thing to read. A gift from life.
...more cartwheels...
About the Law of Attraction--I'm not a fan because it confuses people about how to improve their lives. See what you think of this summary: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction .
Or, google "why the law of attraction is bullshit" if you want to see a lot of writing about it from the critical side.
The key thing is its confusing mix of beneficial and toxic. It hurts people in the end, although parts of it are also parts of healing and sane practices. Hard to sort out. Better, imn-ho, to simplify. Find a ritual for compassion and self-love, and keep at it. Find 3-D groups/activities that feel meaningful or happy and lift you up.
Dream less and do more. (Preaching to self...)
hugs
Hops
PS--You cannot "fail" at following the "Law of Attraction" because it's not a law. It's a setup. And that would be your inner critical voice scolding you for not "doing it right" -- right? Snap! STOP! :)
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Lol, snap taken, Hops, thank you for the info, will read up tomorrow, I do find it a bit baffling :)
Yes that is such a lovely thing from that lady, what a kind and generous offer and what a stroke of luck as well. And further good news ..........first session with new T tonight and she is lovely :) Friendly, welcoming, right balance (for me) of her talking and me talking, no b***shit, felt very comfortable with her and the way she works. Could have happily stayed another hour. She did that nice motherly rub on the shoulder thing when I left as well which I love; my first T did that and I honestly think it might have been the first time in my life I'd experienced physical affection that wasn't loaded with something less pleasant. Very soothing and comforting. What a very good day :)
Twoapenny:
Just read the summary, yes, that is exactly why I've struggled! If it doesn't work it's because you didn't think about it in the right way or subconsciously you don't want what you think you do want. How funny, I never thought of looking up negatives about it, I assumed it was me doing it wrong. Just off to snap myself again :) x
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