Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
What gives you your sense of self worth
Hopalong:
(((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))), I am so terribly sorry.
What a blow.
I can't imagine how hard it is to hear your boy has yet more challenges to deal with. And you as well.
I am stunned that you are still able to think so rationally and carve out a reasonable Plan B. But you have.
Sending you all courage and comfort possible,
with lots of love,
Hops
Twoapenny:
Thank you, Hops xx
Funnily enough, it's Plan Bs that keep me going! I'm not very good at living in the moment. I do feel more comfortable if I have 'something' to work towards. So I freaked out completely, frantically whirred through options in my mind and once Plan B was formulated felt much better. Control issues, I guess!
Equally funny, we went into town this morning to do a few things. Now bearing in mind I've just said in that last post that it's a horrible town and I don't like it, several things happened this morning that made me feel that a 'higher power' is saying "oi, this place isn't so bad".
We were at the bus stop and the guy who's fixing my van stopped, partly to give me a progress report and partly to tell me that he was telling a lady he works for about my son and how much he loves Lego and she's given him a huge box of Lego pieces - complete stranger who's never met him doing something that lovely. We went into the library and they're advertising for volunteers to fetch books for people who are housebound and also to teach a local lady to read. They're both things I'd love to do, not just at the minute as so much else is going on but certainly once things have settled a bit I'll look into that.
We went into the post office and the lady, again no-one we know, was lovely to my boy and chatted away to him about Minions (you know the yellow things out of Dispicable Me). From there to the cafe where the owner was delighted to see us and made a big fuss of my son. Various people along the way were holding doors open for us (as my son was in his wheelchair today) and finally we went back to the bus stop to come home. Another complete stranger came up and said he'd noticed my son reading a Batman book and that he's a big Batman fan himself. He's having a clear out and he has a load of Batman comics and he wondered if my son would like them. How kind is that? So I feel like someone somewhere is saying "right, come on grumpy, this place isn't so bad, the people are kind so stop moaning and get on with it". :) Definitely feel better than I did when I got up!
So yes - will wait until we have the van back and then start house hunting in earnest I think. The thought of moving out of here, albeit just a few miles down the road, makes me feel that a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders.
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. Will keep you posted :) x
lighter:
Funny, Tupp... as I read your posts I was thinking about plan Bs very much in line with your Plan Bs.
I did think there might be a reason you spent some time in the little town you might move to.... and then your lovely post about lovely people doing lovely things.... yes: )
Open up to possibilities. You might find new chosen family there.... or experiences that give you things you need right now.
I'm sorry to read about your son's new troubles..... doctors truly are just practicing.
Please keep us updated, and I'll send prayers in the meantime ((Tupp and son)).
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on September 13, 2016, 10:33:49 AM ---Funny, Tupp... as I read your posts I was thinking about plan Bs very much in line with your Plan Bs.
I did think there might be a reason you spent some time in the little town you might move to.... and then your lovely post about lovely people doing lovely things.... yes: )
Open up to possibilities. You might find new chosen family there.... or experiences that give you things you need right now.
I'm sorry to read about your son's new troubles..... doctors truly are just practicing.
Please keep us updated, and I'll send prayers in the meantime ((Tupp and son)).
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Lighter. I am really noticing now how negative my mind set is when I'm at home now and when I'm somewhere else. I feel like their toxicity is seeping across the road and dragging me down constantly.
I am struggling at the moment; there is so much going on and I'm just so tired. We are off to the circus tonight, though. I do have a tendancy to work through stressful times and wear myself and I really must stop doing it. Much better to go off and have some fun instead. So circus tonight, hospital again tomorrow (not for too long) which means we should have the results of these tests around the end of this month.
The work on the van is almost done; she's being re-tested on Thursday so fingers crossed we'll be back on the road Friday which will really help. I've seen a house online that looks perfect - walking distance to town, on a bus route, within our budget, small garden and a cat flap! Lol, so the cat will be happy. It's small but that's fine; I don't have a huge amount of stuff and we'll be able to get out and about more from there so we won't be stuck indoors as much as we are here. So just waiting for the van to get sorted and then I'll phone and ask about a viewing. Fingers crossed.
Was very glad to read that your legal nightmare may be over now, Lighter, fingers crossed for that, too. xx
lighter:
Tupp:
The idea of your having to keep a small space clean is a happy thought.
You don't need to upkeep and maintenance of a large space for you and your son..... so it sounds perfect to me too.
YES YES YES get away from the ITs across the street.
It's time.
Take you, and leave them behind.
Embrace the new lovely community where you get to tell your story, and BE who you truly are without having everything muddled, and sullied, and confused by others.
I think that you're feeling dragged down, in a new way, bc you're starting to let boundaries down, and FEEl more than was safe in the past.
The discomfort might be a clear indicator it's TIME TO MAKE THIS MOVE...... how can it not be?
(((Tupp and son)))
I'm sorry you have to wait so long for your son's dx, but at least you have things in hand, and rolling.
Lighter
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